1
00:00:02,302 --> 00:00:03,861
<i>I Here's a story</i>

2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,563
<i>I Of a lovely lady</i>

3
00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:09,406
<i>I Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls</i>

4
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:12,739
<i>I All of them had hair of gold</i>

5
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,473
I Like their mother

6
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:17,141
<i>I The youngest one in curls</i>

7
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:19,183
<i>I Here's a story</i>

8
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,378
<i>I Of a man named Brady</i>

9
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:25,117
<i>I Who was busy
with three boys of his own</i>

10
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:28,695
<i>I They were four men living all together</i>

11
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:30,957
I Yet they were all alone

12
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:35,433
<i>I Tilithe one day
when the lady met this fellow</i>

13
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,028
<i>I And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch</i>

14
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:43,175
<i>I That this group
must somehow form a family</i>

15
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,603
<i>I That's the way we all became
the Brady Bunch</i>

16
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,545
<i>I The Brady Bunch</i>

17
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:50,717
<i>I The Brady Bunch</i>

18
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:56,151
<i>I That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch 2</i>

19
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,262
Coming.

20
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,796
- Mike, I'm sorry.
- Do you mind if I come in?

21
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,236
- | don't know what's wrong with me.
- Well, you're still in a funk.

22
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,869
You haven't said five words
since we left Cindy off at college.

23
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,846
I did too! I said six words.

24
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,316
"Cindy's not our little baby anymore.”

25
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:37,216
Oh, Mike, it's just so hard to accept.
Cindy, in college?

26
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,223
I know, honey,
but you've got to face that.

27
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,760
Cindy is 18 years old.
She's all grown-up.

28
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:43,894
All six of the kids are.

29
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:48,059
Yeah. No more lunches to make.
No car pools. No music lessons.

30
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:52,365
No ballet classes. Oh, no Little League.
No Cub Scouts. No Brownies.

31
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,305
No Girl Scouts. No Boy Scouts.
I'm an unemployed mother!

32
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:57,733
Well,you've got to
look on the bright side.

33
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,846
Now we've got some time to ourselves.

34
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,279
What about that cruise
we've always been threatening to take?

35
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:06,944
Let's take it.
We can start enjoying a brand-new life.

36
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,122
- You're right.
- Sure I am.

37
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,247
We can go away weekends
whenever we like.

38
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:14,784
No more, "Mom, can you help me
with my algebra?"

39
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,693
Or "Can I get a lift
to the bowling alley?"

40
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,424
Oh, Mike, it'll be wonderful!

41
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:22,297
- Our lives will be ours.
- It'll be great!

42
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,926
- Terrific!
- Oh, Mike...

43
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,061
What?

44
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,204
Oh, honey!

45
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,182
Hi, Philip.

46
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:15,179
Hi, Jan.

47
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:20,751
I've, um...

48
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,295
Listen, I'd better get my jacket
or we'll never get to the concert.

49
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,454
Oh, uh...

50
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:30,792
- Is it cold out?
- No.

51
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:31,961
OK.

52
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,742
All set.

53
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,347
- What's so funny?
- You look like you're proposing.

54
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,921
Funny you should mention that.

55
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,620
You mean you really are proposing?

56
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,925
You're really... proposing?

57
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:57,962
You're... To me?

58
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,091
You're the only girl in the room.

59
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:06,599
Well?

60
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,201
Can I think about it?

61
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:12,308
Oh, sure. How long do you need?

62
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,644
About three seconds. One, two, three.

63
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,271
Yes, yes, yes!

64
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:42,798
- Oh, you want me to get it?
- No, I'll get it. Oh...

65
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:46,106
Oh, come on. You're not that old.

66
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,812
Oh, it's Jan and Philip.

67
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,847
- Come on in, kids.
- Hi, Dad.

68
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,856
- Hi.
- Hi.

69
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,983
Sorry to drop over without calling.

70
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,994
Don't be silly.
We weren't doing anything important.

71
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,656
You don't consider reruns
of Gilligan's Island important?

72
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,928
Mike! What's up?

73
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,262
Go ahead.

74
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:15,800
Mr. Brady...

75
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:19,674
Oh, Philip, we've known each other,
what, two years?

76
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,111
How many times
have I asked you to call me Mike?

77
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,749
Well, I'm a little old-fashioned,
Mr. Brady.

78
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,376
I still call teachers Mister and Miss,

79
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,386
and I've been a teacher myself
for three years.

80
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:31,388
Are you uncomfortable calling me Mike?

81
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,583
Well...yes, I am.

82
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:37,260
But... how about "Dad"?

83
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,728
Dad?

84
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,828
I think I better sit down.

85
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,971
In accordance with tradition,

86
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:57,607
I'm supposed to ask the father
for his daughter's hand.

87
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:06,517
- And you're asking?
- Yes, sir, I'm asking.

88
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,426
Well, I...

89
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:15,432
Dad, it's not like Philip's the eighth
guy I've brought in here this week!

90
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:16,763
-Jan...
- Honey...

91
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,270
Could we talk about this
for just a minute?

92
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,431
Sure. I think I'll find another room.

93
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:22,769
Thank you, Philip.

94
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,401
Philip, there's coffee in the kitchen.

95
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,105
Oh.

96
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,949
I don't understand this.
I thought you'd be thrilled.

97
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,521
I thought you liked Philip.

98
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,957
We do. We love Philip. You know that.

99
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:42,192
Well, then, what's the problem?
I'm on my own.

100
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,730
Philip and I have known each other
for a long time.

101
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:47,060
You like him. I love him.

102
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,066
Honey, it isn't that. It's just that...

103
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:51,803
VWWell... Marcia...

104
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:55,238
Marcia? What's Marcia got to do
with me, with my wedding?

105
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,503
- Nothing, but...
- Jan, sweetheart,

106
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,204
this is all happening so fast.
You have to understand.

107
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:05,683
You want me to get married after Marcia,
just because she's the oldest?

108
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,512
I can't believe it!

109
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,315
Well, now, we didn't say that, Jan.

110
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,550
That's always how it was
with me and Marcia!

111
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,619
Doesn't anything ever change?

112
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:23,328
Well,all I hear all day long at school
is how great Marcia is at this

113
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:25,268
or how wonderful Marcia did that.

114
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,032
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

115
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,267
Now, sweetheart...

116
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,901
All those awards staring me in the face
was just too much.

117
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,605
I'm tired of being in Marcia's shadow
all the time.

118
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,376
Jan, you're not in anybody's shadow.

119
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,875
Marcia's three years older than you.

120
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,585
I love Philip. And I want to marry him.

121
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,559
Marcia's my sister,
and I love her too, but...

122
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,787
...it's not my fault
if she didn't get married first.

123
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,660
Honey, that isn't what we meant to say.
You caught us off guard.

124
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:54,790
- Sure you have our permission.
- And our blessings.

125
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,663
- Yes, and our blessings.
- Thank you.

126
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,703
Congratulations, sweetheart.

127
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:01,039
Can we talk about
the wedding arrangements later?

128
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,040
- Sure.
- Sure.

129
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,973
Come on out, Philip. It's all over.

130
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,241
All over? Oh, no!

131
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,611
I meant the discussion.

132
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:12,949
Oh!

133
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,884
You wanted her hand, you got it.

134
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,422
After the wedding,
you get everything else.

135
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,150
Oh, Dad!

136
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:22,193
Well, the allergies,
the overdrafts and the flat tires.

137
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,860
Congratulations, Philip.

138
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:29,997
Thanks, Mrs. Brady.

139
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,230
Mom. Thanks, Mr. Dad.

140
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,005
Dad.

141
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,734
Come on. Let's tell my folks.

142
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:39,311
Great. I hope they'll be even happier.

143
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,744
I don't think we handled that too well.

144
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:51,016
Oh, honey, kids in love
always have trouble with their parents.

145
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,489
- Well...
- Remember that rainy night?

146
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:56,857
Must have been three o'clock
in the morning. We were in the car.

147
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,863
Dad came out with a flashlight
and caught us in the back seat.

148
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,023
Do you remember?

149
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,561
No. That wasn't me.

150
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,067
Oh!

151
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:24,757
Mind if I sit down?

152
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,125
Parlez-vous English?

153
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,558
I'm sorry. Were you speaking to me?

154
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:34,565
Well, if you're sorry,
I'll just take my tray to another table.

155
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,829
No. That's not what I meant. Sit down.

156
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,463
Only for lunch. When I'm finished,
that's it. I'm gone.

157
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,236
Would you pass me the salt, please?

158
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,338
Thanks.

159
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,146
How about the pepper?

160
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:52,913
Thanks.

161
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,849
Sugar?

162
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:57,954
How about a napkin?

163
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,058
Another napkin?

164
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,431
How about your silverware,
your credit cards and your shoes?

165
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,432
Got your attention, didn't I?

166
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,027
Yes, you did.

167
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,232
If I can venture an opinion,
your body may be sitting here,

168
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:17,435
but your mind is sitting
in an entirely different restaurant.

169
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,239
- Do you have a problem?
- No.

170
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:24,476
Sometimes you can solve a problem
by confiding in a perfect stranger.

171
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:27,609
Now, I may not be perfect,
but I am a stranger.

172
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,123
It's not really a problem.
It's more of a family situation.

173
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:35,660
Oh. Well, Cain and Abel
started as a family situation.

174
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:38,662
- It's kind of personal.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

175
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,197
I don't mean to intrude.

176
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,605
You see, my younger sister, Jan,
came home to tell my folks

177
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,765
that she wants to marry Philip.
Philip's a great guy.

178
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:52,469
He's an assistant science professor
at a junior college. Jan loves him.

179
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,774
I love him. So do Greg, Peter,
Bobby and Cindy.

180
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:56,939
Everybody loves Philip.
But that's not the problem at all.

181
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,575
Jan believes that Mom and Dad
think that since she's younger than me

182
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,984
that I should get married first.
Which really has no bearing on anything.

183
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:05,352
Mom and Dad tried to convince her
and said OK to Jan's marriage.

184
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,152
But that still
hasn't made it any easier.

185
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,125
That's why it's a problem
and I'm in the middle.

186
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:12,232
Even though I'm the oldest.
Except for Greg.

187
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,560
Understand?

188
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,698
This much.

189
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:19,194
What you're telling me is that
your parents feel the oldest daughter

190
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,398
should get married first.
And you're the oldest.

191
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:22,531
Right.

192
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:25,508
It's a little old-fashioned,
but there's a simple solution.

193
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:29,445
You get married first, then there's
no problem with your sister, Jan.

194
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,045
No. But there's a problem with me.

195
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,880
Jan's going to be married
in a couple of months

196
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,749
and I'm not even going with anybody.

197
00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:37,378
So who am I going to marry?

198
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,656
How about me?

199
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:44,791
What?

200
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:48,492
Well, it's the least I could do
to prevent a problem in your family.

201
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:50,232
Be happy I sat here.

202
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,839
You could be marrying
one of those two guys over there.

203
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:57,366
I'm sorry. I make it a policy
not to marry on the first date.

204
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,978
Wewon't get married now.

205
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,103
You see,
you just accept the proposal now.

206
00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:03,215
We'llget married in a few weeks,
before Jan.

207
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,449
I don't even know your name.

208
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:06,950
Interested, huh?

209
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,717
That's progress.

210
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,120
- Wally Logan.
- Marcia Brady.

211
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:13,453
For now.

212
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,420
You don't know anything about me.

213
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,762
Well,what do I have to know?
You're beautiful.

214
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:23,096
And you're bright,
concerned about your family.

215
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,432
Sensitive to your sister's feelings.

216
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,634
You're easy to talk to.

217
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:29,938
You've got a good sense of humor,

218
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,704
and you hardly eat anything at all.

219
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,335
You know what I think?

220
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,112
I think I've been looking for you
all my life.

221
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,849
- You know what I think?
- What?

222
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,822
I think there's two guys in white coats
looking for you.

223
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:54,531
Bye-bye.

224
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:19,291
"There are... 11 Marcia Bradys
in the phone book.

225
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,951
And I had to send flowers
to all of them.

226
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,026
The least you could do
is meet me for lunch tomorrow.

227
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,293
Wally."

228
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,633
Wally.

229
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,339
Afraid I wouldn't show, huh?

230
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,210
No. I was afraid you would.

231
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,643
Oh, did you get my flowers?

232
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:50,984
Yes. Did you really send them
to all those Marcia Bradys?

233
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:55,084
No. I asked the cashier here
if she knew where you worked.

234
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:58,254
I got your address from your company.
It got you here, didn't it?

235
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,560
Only to thank you for the flowers.

236
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,829
I didn't want to embarrass you
by having you wait around all day.

237
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,460
I would have, too.

238
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,840
Your card said that you worked
for the Tyler Toy Company.

239
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,447
Are you a toy salesman?

240
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,014
No. I'm a real salesman.

241
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,177
I just sell toys.

242
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:20,547
I'll bet you played with
plenty of Tyler toys.

243
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,518
How about... Snoozy Suzy?

244
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:25,716
Snoozy Suzy! That was my favorite doll.

245
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,492
You pull the cord
and it sang a chorus of lullabies

246
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,118
and it put itself to sleep.

247
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,563
First one eye closed,
and then the other eye closed...

248
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,292
and then it snored.

249
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,132
Snoozy Suzy does not snore.

250
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,002
Mine did. It went...

251
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:44,371
It's not supposed to.
Malfunction. I'll get you a new one.

252
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,172
Let's not talk shop.
Let's talk marriage.

253
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,975
Now, I told my folks about you.
Have you told your folks about me?

254
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,880
- No.
- Well, tell 'em.

255
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,486
They wouldn't believe me.

256
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,611
Well, tell them, and meet me back here
at the end of the day.

257
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,451
I couldn't, even if I wanted to.

258
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:01,117
I'm working late on some designs
for a fashion show, Wally.

259
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,028
Lorraine, try on the other one.

260
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,573
Is Marcia Brady here?

261
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,338
I'm sorry, these are private rooms
back here!

262
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:25,581
Reginald Finsterwald,
State Clothing Commission.

263
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:29,211
Now... Marcia Brady?

264
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,585
- Uh... Marcia's over there.
- Thank you.

265
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:32,748
Sorry.

266
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:38,727
Marcia?

267
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:40,596
Wally, what are you...?

268
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,532
Reginald Finsterwald,
State Clothing Commission.

269
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,969
I'm here to inspect hemline standards.

270
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:48,835
I have work to do.

271
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:51,467
We all got our jobs to do, lady.

272
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,245
What can I do to make you go away?

273
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,872
- Go out with me Saturday night.
- That's blackmail.

274
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,951
It's either that
or I close this place down.

275
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:11,963
OK, you win, Mr. Finsterwald.

276
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,961
I'm glad I took that job
at the real estate office.

277
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,764
It's helped me forget
that Jan hasn't called for a while.

278
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,731
She hasn't called for a week.

279
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:30,774
Eight days, eleven hours
and four minutes.

280
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,038
Well, all we did was mention Marcia...

281
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:36,205
- And Jan jumped to conclusions.
- Can't say I blame her.

282
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:39,910
Jan comes over here with the biggest
news of her life, and we blew it.

283
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,544
Hmm, you're right.
We should have lit fireworks,

284
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,281
- and we fizzled.
- Yeah.

285
00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:46,653
- You know what, honey?
- What?

286
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,692
I think we should phone her
and tell her that.

287
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,318
OK.

288
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,760
Oh, here.

289
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,763
It's Jan.

290
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,102
- Dad, I'm sorry.
- What...?

291
00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:06,872
I didn't even give you and Mom
a chance to say anything.

292
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:09,778
Oh, Mom, I know you both want
what's good for me

293
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:11,349
and I behaved like a jerk.

294
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,010
- Make that two jerks.
- Make that unanimous.

295
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,088
Honey, we couldn't be happier
for you and Philip. We love you both.

296
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,453
Yeah, but sweetheart,
we were behaving like parents.

297
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,357
I love you. Can I call Philip
and have him come over?

298
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,554
We have a few things
we want to discuss with you.

299
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,563
Invitations, guest lists, caterers.

300
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:29,100
Call him, call him.
The sooner the better.

301
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,797
Philip is fast.

302
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,910
- Marcia!
- Hi.

303
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,946
- Dad, this is Wally Logan.
- Hello, Wally.

304
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,311
Hello, Mr. Brady. Nice to meet you.

305
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:50,714
- Wally, this is my mother.
- Hello, Mrs. Brady.

306
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,689
- Hi.
- Sorry to have dropped in without calling.

307
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,954
The last time
I heard anybody say that,

308
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,995
Jan told us she was getting married.

309
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,901
Oh... I think I better sit down.

310
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:10,369
Mr. and Mrs. Brady,
you don't know me too well...

311
00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:12,807
We've never seen you before
in our lives.

312
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,716
- You trust Marcia, don't you?
- Yes.

313
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,875
And you've taught her to be careful
about making important decisions.

314
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,214
Yes.

315
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:23,412
How long have you two known each other?

316
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:26,523
Seven days.

317
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:30,055
- Seven wonderful days.
- Right.

318
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,892
It's quality, not quantity.

319
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:37,094
Wait a second. If you have a second.

320
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,371
Are you telling me that you met

321
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:43,100
and decided to get married
in seven days, wonderful or not?

322
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,337
Mom, you told me you knew you were
in love with Dad in less than a week.

323
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:50,749
But that was different. I was older.
I already had children.

324
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:53,284
Surely you don't want us
to have children first?

325
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,782
Just a little touch of humor.

326
00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:00,557
I really love him.

327
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:05,297
I didn't think I would, but I do.

328
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:10,129
- So will you once you get to know him.
- We would like to get to know him.

329
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,862
We sure would.

330
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,869
What about the future? Have you had
any time to think about that?

331
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,100
We both work.

332
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:20,304
Wally has a great job
as a representative for Tyler Toys.

333
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:23,575
Mom, do you remember my Snoozy Suzy
doll? The one that sang itself to sleep?

334
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:26,811
First one eye would close,
then the other eye would close and it...

335
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,283
Not now, honey.

336
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:33,058
Wally... what do your parents think?

337
00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:35,388
They think we're just as crazy
as you do.

338
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,496
At least he comes from a good home.

339
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:41,999
We know that this is all very sudden,
but Marcia and I are adults.

340
00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:45,969
Welove each other
and we want to get married.

341
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,804
But we won't do it
unless we have your consent.

342
00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:51,432
I think I better sit down.

343
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:52,942
You are sitting down.

344
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,506
- Well?
- Well?

345
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:00,381
Well?

346
00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:03,450
Well...

347
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,658
Well?

348
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,760
Congratulations.

349
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:20,538
Now, that's progress.

350
00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:28,570
Philip was grading papers. He wanted
to finish and come over tomorrow.

351
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:32,378
Hi, Marcia. Have I got news.
Who's your friend?

352
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,509
He's more than a friend, Jan.

353
00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:35,779
Apparently.

354
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,891
Marcia, you and Jan...
Well, start from the beginning.

355
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,152
- The wedding is on!
- I know!

356
00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:43,193
- Mine!
- What?

357
00:22:44,263 --> 00:22:46,755
Jan, Wally Logan.
I'm marrying your sister.

358
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,003
Oh, Marcia, that's wonderful!

359
00:22:52,137 --> 00:22:54,572
Both of us getting married
at the same time!

360
00:22:56,175 --> 00:22:58,473
- The same day.
- Yeah!

361
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:03,080
Wait a second. Nobody said anything
about same time or same day!

362
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:04,580
Nobody said no.

363
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,947
Well,don't look at me!

364
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:18,819
Good morning, Mary.

365
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:21,959
Hi, Betty. Lee.

366
00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:24,994
Mr. Richards, congratulate me!

367
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:30,103
Congratulations!
You just sold your first house.

368
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:33,339
Better than that.

369
00:23:33,479 --> 00:23:35,413
Oh... two houses?

370
00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:38,582
No. Two daughters.

371
00:23:38,717 --> 00:23:40,651
You sold your two daughters?

372
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,923
Paging Dr. Brady.
Dr. Greg Brady.

373
00:23:53,132 --> 00:23:55,692
Oh, Dr. Brady,
there's a phone call for you.

374
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:57,131
Thanks, Marie.

375
00:23:58,070 --> 00:23:59,697
This is Dr. Brady.

376
00:23:59,838 --> 00:24:01,272
Hello, Greg.

377
00:24:01,407 --> 00:24:03,569
Mom? Anything wrong?

378
00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:04,972
Oh, no, nothing's wrong.

379
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,044
I just have such wonderful news,
I had to call.

380
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:11,546
Gee. You're lucky you caught me.
I'm just about to make rounds.

381
00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:14,153
How would you like to come
to a double wedding?

382
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,755
Great. As long as it's not mine.

383
00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:20,655
Marcia and Jan are both
getting married, at the same time!

384
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,283
Fantastic!

385
00:24:22,428 --> 00:24:23,691
I know how busy you are, Greg.

386
00:24:23,829 --> 00:24:25,820
But it wouldn't be the same
if their big brother wasn't there.

387
00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:30,129
I'll manage somehow, Mom.
The first wedding of the Bradys.

388
00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:32,260
I remember Marcia's first date.

389
00:25:09,742 --> 00:25:13,372
I want to know all about it,
who the guys are, when it's going to be.

390
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,640
Marcia's fiancé is Wally Logan.

391
00:25:15,781 --> 00:25:19,081
She just met him and they decided
to get married, after only seven days.

392
00:25:19,218 --> 00:25:20,549
You know Philip.

393
00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:22,620
He and Jan have been
thinking about it for some time.

394
00:25:22,821 --> 00:25:25,085
Dr. Brady, they need you in X-ray
right away.

395
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,058
Well, they decided to get together
and have the double wedding.

396
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,890
Fantastico!

397
00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:35,433
Congratulations! Felicidade!
Buena suerte!

398
00:25:37,603 --> 00:25:38,798
Thank you.

399
00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:52,712
Mom, this is embarrassing!

400
00:25:52,851 --> 00:25:54,876
I mean, I enlist in the Air Force
for a while

401
00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:57,318
so I can decide what to do
with the rest of my life,

402
00:25:57,456 --> 00:25:59,754
a seemingly mature decision.

403
00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:01,621
Then over the PA, all the guys hear,

404
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,956
"Airman Brady, your mommy's calling!"

405
00:26:04,096 --> 00:26:05,757
Mom, give me a break.

406
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:08,424
I'm sorry, Peter, but this is important.

407
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:09,557
Important?

408
00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:12,500
Marcia and Jan are getting married
in a double ceremony,

409
00:26:12,638 --> 00:26:14,197
to two great guys.

410
00:26:14,339 --> 00:26:16,967
No, no, go on... Really?

411
00:26:17,109 --> 00:26:19,441
So Philip finally popped the question, huh?

412
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:23,405
But Marcia doesn't even have
a boyfriend. Who's she marrying?

413
00:26:23,549 --> 00:26:26,712
His name is Wally Logan.
It was a whirlwind romance.

414
00:26:26,852 --> 00:26:28,217
We hardly know him ourselves.

415
00:26:28,353 --> 00:26:31,050
Mom, that is terrific.

416
00:26:36,462 --> 00:26:38,760
My sisters are getting married, sir.

417
00:26:43,569 --> 00:26:44,900
Peter...

418
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,211
OK, Mom, I'm back.
So when's the wedding?

419
00:26:57,349 --> 00:27:00,375
We don't know exactly. There are so many
friends and relatives to consider.

420
00:27:00,519 --> 00:27:03,113
When you work it out, give me a call
so I can arrange for leave, all right?

421
00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:04,279
Roger.

422
00:27:09,495 --> 00:27:11,054
Hello.

423
00:27:11,597 --> 00:27:13,122
Hey, cool it, guys, will ya?

424
00:27:14,366 --> 00:27:15,561
Yeah?

425
00:27:16,401 --> 00:27:18,301
Marcia and Jan? Both of 'em?

426
00:27:18,437 --> 00:27:21,737
Right, Bobby. And naturally,
we want you at the wedding.

427
00:27:21,874 --> 00:27:24,343
- Whenis it?
- Soon. We don't know exactly.

428
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,171
It doesn't matter. I'll be there.

429
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:29,747
Unless I drop out of college,
sign a big league contract

430
00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:32,351
and make it to the World Series
all in the next month.

431
00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:35,615
Oh, Bobby! Goodbye.

432
00:27:36,788 --> 00:27:39,883
Marcia and Jan getting married
on the same day?

433
00:27:40,025 --> 00:27:43,359
Oh, Mom, a double wedding!
That's fabulous.

434
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:46,089
How does that make you feel,
Cindy?

435
00:27:46,231 --> 00:27:47,460
Like an old maid.

436
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,831
Well,you just stay single for a while.

437
00:27:50,969 --> 00:27:52,835
Well, there is this guy...

438
00:27:52,971 --> 00:27:57,033
- Cindy...
- Just kidding, Mom, just kidding.

439
00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:58,473
What's Wally like?

440
00:27:58,610 --> 00:28:00,738
Well, he's just as nice a guy
as Philip,

441
00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:02,506
but they're as different as can be.

442
00:28:02,648 --> 00:28:05,481
- What does he look like?
- Oh, he's cute and adorable.

443
00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:08,678
You'll be able to recognize him.
He'll be the one marrying Marcia.

444
00:28:08,820 --> 00:28:10,686
Wally, we have to get organized.

445
00:28:10,822 --> 00:28:13,757
We've got to get invitations.
Weneed a list of all of the guests.

446
00:28:13,892 --> 00:28:17,954
Couldn't we just have an open wedding?
Put up signs on telephone poles?

447
00:28:18,297 --> 00:28:22,234
You haven't lost a puppy.
You found a wife.

448
00:28:22,601 --> 00:28:24,160
Sure have.

449
00:28:24,303 --> 00:28:28,467
And besides, I've already told
my apartment manager I'm moving out.

450
00:28:28,607 --> 00:28:32,134
Oh, then you mean you're really
going to go through with this, huh?

451
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:36,174
You can't back out now, buster.

452
00:28:36,315 --> 00:28:38,181
I wouldn't want to.

453
00:28:49,695 --> 00:28:52,096
Believe me,
I've never seen her before in my life.

454
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:55,055
Uh, we really...

455
00:28:56,168 --> 00:28:57,567
Here we go.

456
00:28:57,970 --> 00:29:00,268
Here's your copy of the people
I think we should invite.

457
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:01,895
As you can see, it's all alphabetized.

458
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,304
Uh-huh. What do those carrots
by the names mean?

459
00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:05,706
Vegetarians.

460
00:29:05,844 --> 00:29:09,542
You think of everything!
You're so practical.

461
00:29:09,681 --> 00:29:11,376
Please don't call me practical.

462
00:29:12,684 --> 00:29:15,381
Dull people are practical. I'm not dull,

463
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,045
therefore I'm not practical.

464
00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:20,990
I simply try to examine everything
from all sides.

465
00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:25,054
What about me? Did you try to examine me
from all sides?

466
00:29:25,564 --> 00:29:28,693
Naturally.
It was the only practical thing to do.

467
00:29:30,402 --> 00:29:31,597
Now...

468
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,532
Here's your copy of the list of songs
for the reception.

469
00:29:35,674 --> 00:29:37,506
- As you see, it's alphabetized too.
- Uh-huh.

470
00:29:37,643 --> 00:29:39,737
And these letters, F and S?

471
00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:41,741
Fast and slow?

472
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,314
Exactly.

473
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:45,811
Is there anything
you haven't thought of?

474
00:29:46,418 --> 00:29:47,544
Yes.

475
00:29:48,053 --> 00:29:50,044
I haven't thought of any way
that we can afford

476
00:29:50,188 --> 00:29:52,384
a big, beautiful apartment
after we're married.

477
00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:54,117
Oh, honey, it doesn't matter.

478
00:29:54,259 --> 00:29:57,160
I mean, I can move into your place,
or you can move into my place.

479
00:29:57,296 --> 00:30:00,561
- Well, that's 820 or 775.
- Dollars?

480
00:30:00,699 --> 00:30:04,533
No. Square feet. My apartment
is 45 square feet larger,

481
00:30:04,670 --> 00:30:07,196
so I suggest we move into my place
after the wedding.

482
00:30:07,339 --> 00:30:08,329
Agreed.

483
00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:10,771
And now, about the wedding night,

484
00:30:10,909 --> 00:30:13,503
if you pull out a list
of alphabetized activities,

485
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:15,636
I'm gonna give you such a hit.

486
00:30:17,883 --> 00:30:20,818
That's... I did have
a few things written down.

487
00:30:20,952 --> 00:30:23,717
- What?
- No, no...

488
00:30:28,593 --> 00:30:29,719
Well, what do you think?

489
00:30:29,861 --> 00:30:31,727
I loved the invitation
I got to Barbara's wedding.

490
00:30:31,863 --> 00:30:34,093
It had a Picasso abstract design.

491
00:30:34,232 --> 00:30:35,529
That sounds terrific to me.

492
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:38,227
An invitation that's contemporary
and current...

493
00:30:38,370 --> 00:30:43,035
With Old English lettering. Now,
that's really a traditional invitation.

494
00:30:43,175 --> 00:30:47,112
Maybe with a quote from Shakespeare
or George Bernard...

495
00:30:47,245 --> 00:30:51,204
Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen. That
would be perfect music for the wedding.

496
00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:53,318
And maybe
we can have an electric guitar.

497
00:30:53,452 --> 00:30:54,942
That'll be perfect with...

498
00:30:55,087 --> 00:30:57,112
A cello, violin and flute.

499
00:30:57,255 --> 00:31:01,089
I love that kind of music too.
That sound goes so well with...

500
00:31:01,226 --> 00:31:02,921
Guacamole and chips.

501
00:31:03,061 --> 00:31:06,998
Right. That sets the mood
for Mexican food. Like...

502
00:31:07,132 --> 00:31:11,433
Beef Wellington and spinach soufflé.
That's very traditional too.

503
00:31:11,570 --> 00:31:13,629
Like my beautiful long veil.

504
00:31:13,772 --> 00:31:16,173
And I love the idea of lace cuffs...

505
00:31:16,308 --> 00:31:18,003
Maybe on a sleeveless dress.

506
00:31:18,143 --> 00:31:22,273
That should look terrific with me
in my Greek shirt and sandals...

507
00:31:22,414 --> 00:31:24,143
Top hat and tails.

508
00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:26,282
Sounds good to me.

509
00:31:26,418 --> 00:31:27,783
Sounds good to me.

510
00:31:27,919 --> 00:31:28,943
Sounds good to me.

511
00:31:29,087 --> 00:31:30,452
Sounds good to me.

512
00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:43,262
Avril Van Owen. Oh, yeah,
that's the friend of Philip and Jan's.

513
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:45,336
Well, I'll just put them at their table.

514
00:31:46,004 --> 00:31:47,199
OK.

515
00:31:48,173 --> 00:31:49,402
David Gilbert?

516
00:31:50,175 --> 00:31:51,404
Who's David Gilbert?

517
00:31:51,543 --> 00:31:54,604
It's gotta be a friend of Wally's.

518
00:31:56,314 --> 00:31:57,907
Julie Sullivan?

519
00:31:58,049 --> 00:32:00,347
Coming!

520
00:32:01,319 --> 00:32:02,684
Julie Sullivan?

521
00:32:04,623 --> 00:32:05,886
David Gilbert...

522
00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:08,758
Gilbert and Sullivan.

523
00:32:10,629 --> 00:32:12,119
Gilbert and Sullivan.

524
00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:15,895
I A wandering minstrel, I
A thing of rags and patches...

525
00:32:17,135 --> 00:32:19,934
Coming!

526
00:32:22,207 --> 00:32:23,538
Alice!

527
00:32:24,042 --> 00:32:25,476
Mrs. Brady!

528
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,812
Oh, I'm so happy
you could make it here for the weddings.

529
00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:37,752
Oh, Mrs. Brady, I have never been
so happy in my life!

530
00:32:47,299 --> 00:32:49,825
Alice, stop crying!
You're getting the skirt all wet.

531
00:32:50,735 --> 00:32:53,227
But this is the room
where you were a little girl,

532
00:32:53,371 --> 00:32:57,330
where you used to play
and leave your toys scattered all over

533
00:32:57,476 --> 00:33:01,003
and wrote on the wall in crayon
and never picked anything up.

534
00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:04,278
Whatever happened
to that sweet little girl?

535
00:33:04,416 --> 00:33:06,350
Alice, everybody grows up.

536
00:33:06,485 --> 00:33:11,924
I know, but you and Jan getting ma...
ma... married?

537
00:33:13,692 --> 00:33:15,683
- Hello, girls.
- Hi, Mom.

538
00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:17,795
Oh, that's going to be nice.

539
00:33:20,165 --> 00:33:23,032
Marcia, you even look pretty
in a pattern.

540
00:33:23,802 --> 00:33:25,463
Oh, here's where I left these.

541
00:33:25,937 --> 00:33:28,372
- Did you sell any houses today, Mom?
- Not exactly,

542
00:33:28,507 --> 00:33:30,703
but there is an offer in
on the Hastings Avenue house.

543
00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:34,005
I think it's so great, Mrs. Brady,
you working in real estate.

544
00:33:34,145 --> 00:33:35,408
Is it hard to sell a house?

545
00:33:35,547 --> 00:33:37,743
I don't know. I haven't sold one yet!

546
00:33:38,383 --> 00:33:39,817
But you're getting closer.

547
00:33:39,951 --> 00:33:42,113
Well, as long as you two
are working on the dress,

548
00:33:42,254 --> 00:33:44,985
I think I'll go over and meet with the
caterers and discuss the arrangements.

549
00:33:45,123 --> 00:33:47,820
Great. Besides,
I can get a few pointers from Alice.

550
00:33:47,959 --> 00:33:49,484
She's practically a new bride herself.

551
00:33:49,628 --> 00:33:51,619
New bride? Are you kidding?

552
00:33:51,763 --> 00:33:54,289
Sam and I have been married
almost four years.

553
00:33:54,432 --> 00:33:56,730
I still remember our wedding night.

554
00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,802
Sam bowled a 226.

555
00:34:03,074 --> 00:34:04,803
And now I'm getting married.

556
00:34:04,943 --> 00:34:08,311
Married!

557
00:34:09,414 --> 00:34:12,145
- Well,I think I'll be going.
- Have a nice day.

558
00:34:12,284 --> 00:34:13,274
Bye.

559
00:34:13,418 --> 00:34:14,408
- Alice...
-Hm?

560
00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:16,578
- Do me a favor.
- Hmm?

561
00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:18,246
Try not to drown Marcia.

562
00:34:21,593 --> 00:34:24,688
Oh, that's going to be so beautiful.
Silk, right?

563
00:34:24,829 --> 00:34:29,357
Silk crepe de chine, with a little silk
hat and a short veil. Really modern.

564
00:34:29,501 --> 00:34:32,471
- It's the newest fashion.
- Sounds beautiful.

565
00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:36,097
Well, designing is my job.
I've also designed one for Jan.

566
00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:38,136
Hi, Marcia.

567
00:34:38,276 --> 00:34:39,505
Alice?

568
00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:43,480
Jan!

569
00:34:43,615 --> 00:34:47,051
Oh!
I thought you'd be happy to see me.

570
00:34:47,819 --> 00:34:51,119
I've never been so happy
in my whole life.

571
00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:53,691
If she were any happier,
we'd need a rowboat.

572
00:34:55,493 --> 00:34:57,222
Isn't the dress beautiful?

573
00:34:57,362 --> 00:34:59,160
Yes, it's beautiful.

574
00:34:59,297 --> 00:35:02,028
Well,I'm glad you like it,
because I've got something for you.

575
00:35:02,167 --> 00:35:03,464
Look out for the pins.

576
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:10,738
- Uh... It's lovely.
- I knew you'd like it.

577
00:35:13,878 --> 00:35:18,338
Well...it's not exactly
what I had in mind.

578
00:35:18,483 --> 00:35:21,817
I was thinking of something
a little more traditional, you know,

579
00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:23,921
with a lot of lace and a long train.

580
00:35:24,055 --> 00:35:26,547
Well, this one is more in keeping
with the modern flavor.

581
00:35:26,691 --> 00:35:28,591
Who says the wedding
has a modern flavor?

582
00:35:28,727 --> 00:35:30,889
Jan, Marcia,
this is none of my business,

583
00:35:31,029 --> 00:35:33,020
but haven't you already
talked all this out?

584
00:35:33,164 --> 00:35:35,064
Oh, well, Philip and I just assumed

585
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,259
we'd have a traditional,
dignified kind of wedding.

586
00:35:37,402 --> 00:35:39,268
Wally and I see it
a whole different way.

587
00:35:39,404 --> 00:35:41,168
We'd like something
with flair and style.

588
00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:44,809
I refuse to look ridiculous
at my own wedding.

589
00:35:44,943 --> 00:35:46,707
Great. Now you're seeing it my way.

590
00:35:46,845 --> 00:35:48,609
Marcia! Jan.

591
00:35:48,747 --> 00:35:50,772
Well, that's what you say,
but it is my wedding.

592
00:35:50,915 --> 00:35:52,076
Girls, please!

593
00:35:52,217 --> 00:35:54,276
Your wedding? It's my wedding too!

594
00:35:54,419 --> 00:35:56,888
- Now...
- Listen, Marcia, Philipand I...

595
00:35:59,391 --> 00:36:02,326
- OK, Alice, who's right?
- Yeah, who?

596
00:36:03,028 --> 00:36:06,328
Your parents.
They'll have the perfect solution.

597
00:36:06,464 --> 00:36:08,796
I hope.

598
00:36:13,204 --> 00:36:14,228
Here they are.

599
00:36:14,372 --> 00:36:17,433
I'm so glad you and Philip
are getting a chance to meet.

600
00:36:17,575 --> 00:36:21,842
Right on time. Come on in.
Let's get the introductions over with,

601
00:36:21,980 --> 00:36:23,948
we can sit down to
Carol's chateaubriand.

602
00:36:24,082 --> 00:36:25,572
Wally Logan, Philip Covington.

603
00:36:25,717 --> 00:36:27,811
Nice to meet you.
May I call you Wallace?

604
00:36:27,952 --> 00:36:29,716
Wally's fine. OK, Philly?

605
00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:32,016
Well, Philip is preferred.

606
00:36:32,157 --> 00:36:34,854
Phil is possible, but Philly, no, never.

607
00:36:34,993 --> 00:36:36,051
Whatever.

608
00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:38,128
We've asked you here
for a couple of reasons.

609
00:36:38,263 --> 00:36:39,788
First of all, you haven't met.

610
00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:41,763
And second, we understand

611
00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:44,494
you seem to be having a difference
of opinion about the wedding.

612
00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:48,200
Dad, we know you're trying to help.
But we're not kids anymore.

613
00:36:48,339 --> 00:36:50,068
We have to work things out
for ourselves.

614
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:54,475
However, your father's right.
It's best to present all the facts.

615
00:36:55,246 --> 00:36:59,240
It's kind of like the announcement
of the trumpeter swan to rival males.

616
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:00,374
Yes.

617
00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:03,620
I... never thought of it quite that way.

618
00:37:05,757 --> 00:37:07,156
Is he serious?

619
00:37:07,292 --> 00:37:08,817
Always.

620
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,054
Well...
...here we are.

621
00:37:12,163 --> 00:37:15,030
Mike, I'm glad that you got us together.

622
00:37:15,533 --> 00:37:18,264
Maybe you can help us
make them understand what we mean.

623
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:20,367
We understand what you mean.

624
00:37:20,505 --> 00:37:22,599
We feel that our way makes sense.

625
00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:24,072
In a way, it does make

626
00:37:24,209 --> 00:37:26,337
- a certain amount of sense.
- Good.

627
00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:29,573
If you want a wedding
that is reviewed in Rolling Stone.

628
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:32,474
What Philip means is...

629
00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:34,642
You don't have to interpret
what Philip means.

630
00:37:34,786 --> 00:37:37,448
This particular swan
has blown his own trumpet.

631
00:37:39,157 --> 00:37:41,125
Hold it.
Let's not start an argument here.

632
00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:43,387
We're...all adults, remember?

633
00:37:43,795 --> 00:37:47,493
Right. Now, let's all sit down
and talk it out. Come on.

634
00:37:48,333 --> 00:37:51,325
Remember, now,
what's important is the weddings.

635
00:37:52,237 --> 00:37:56,231
Now, we want you two couples
to like each other and get along.

636
00:37:56,374 --> 00:37:58,809
As for me,
I can get along with everybody.

637
00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:01,469
Good. Then let's discuss
how the wedding should be.

638
00:38:01,613 --> 00:38:03,843
All right.
Now you're being practical, Phil.

639
00:38:05,183 --> 00:38:08,175
Two things. First, Philip.
My name is Philip.

640
00:38:08,319 --> 00:38:10,879
And secondly,
I wasn't suggesting a discussion

641
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:12,820
because it's practical. It's rational.

642
00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:15,392
There's a big difference
between rational and practical.

643
00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:18,486
Well, how do you two want the wedding?

644
00:38:19,364 --> 00:38:22,959
Traditional, memorable.
A wedding is a serious step.

645
00:38:23,101 --> 00:38:25,035
It's not something
to be considered lightly.

646
00:38:25,770 --> 00:38:28,102
Are you saying that
we haven't thought about it enough?

647
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,607
Well, Philip and I have been
thinking about it for three months.

648
00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:34,212
You two haven't even known each other
for three months.

649
00:38:34,345 --> 00:38:36,245
Jan, that's not quite fair.

650
00:38:36,381 --> 00:38:39,112
What difference does it make
how long we've known each other?

651
00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:42,083
Marcia, Wally,
how do you two see the wedding?

652
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:44,619
We think it should be memorable too.

653
00:38:44,756 --> 00:38:47,623
But we want it upbeat
and bright and fun!

654
00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:49,056
I vote for fun.

655
00:38:49,194 --> 00:38:51,288
See? Philly's practical.

656
00:38:51,429 --> 00:38:53,727
Phil is practical. Philip's practical!

657
00:38:53,865 --> 00:38:55,731
Philip's rational. He's rational.

658
00:38:55,867 --> 00:38:57,801
- Precisely.
- And precise.

659
00:38:58,603 --> 00:39:02,039
But our kind of fun
may be different from your kind of fun.

660
00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:03,572
I can believe that.

661
00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:07,406
Let's all sit back down.
How'd this get started anyway?

662
00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:10,808
Well,they want chamber music,
violins and cellos.

663
00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:14,375
We never said chamber music!
They want rock and roll.

664
00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:17,716
We never said rock and roll!
They said top hats and tails.

665
00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:21,121
We did not! But we don't
want open shirts and sandals.

666
00:39:21,259 --> 00:39:22,954
That's right.
And we want traditional vows.

667
00:39:23,094 --> 00:39:24,493
Well, we want to write our own.

668
00:39:24,629 --> 00:39:26,324
- Hold it. Hold it.
- Can't we compromise?

669
00:39:26,464 --> 00:39:28,956
Maybe this is too much of a change.
What about separate weddings?

670
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:30,727
You can do anything you want.

671
00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:32,268
Now, that's rational.

672
00:39:32,403 --> 00:39:33,734
No, that's practical!

673
00:39:33,872 --> 00:39:36,432
Just call me sometime
and let me know how it all worked out.

674
00:39:36,574 --> 00:39:37,973
Wally, wait!

675
00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:39,969
Wally...

676
00:39:41,346 --> 00:39:44,247
Mr. and Mrs. Brady, I'm sorry.
Goodnight, Jan.

677
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:46,111
It was nice meeting you, Philly.

678
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,855
Mike...

679
00:39:50,989 --> 00:39:54,084
Maybe a double wedding
isn't such a good idea after all.

680
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,387
You know, I hate to say this,
but maybe Wally was right.

681
00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:58,825
You mean you don't want
to be part of a double wedding?

682
00:39:59,197 --> 00:40:02,030
I don't even know if I want to be
part of a single wedding.

683
00:40:03,101 --> 00:40:04,830
Philip, wait!

684
00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:07,494
Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Brady.

685
00:40:12,477 --> 00:40:14,445
What do you think?

686
00:40:14,579 --> 00:40:17,207
Well...1 usually cry at weddings.

687
00:40:17,348 --> 00:40:21,046
But I think I better start right now,
cause I might not get the chance.

688
00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:28,186
More coffee?

689
00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:32,154
Alice, please sit down.
You don't work here anymore.

690
00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:37,201
I know. But once I set foot
in this kitchen, habit takes over.

691
00:40:38,169 --> 00:40:40,934
Besides, worrying about the coffee
gives me something to worry about

692
00:40:41,072 --> 00:40:43,666
so I don't have to worry about
what I'm really worried about.

693
00:40:44,075 --> 00:40:46,874
Wally's impulsive. He couldn't mean
what he said last night.

694
00:40:47,011 --> 00:40:48,342
Well, that's good to hear.

695
00:40:48,479 --> 00:40:50,846
On the other hand,
Philip isn't impulsive.

696
00:40:50,982 --> 00:40:52,245
He could mean what he said.

697
00:40:52,383 --> 00:40:54,078
That's not so good to hear.

698
00:40:56,487 --> 00:40:58,546
They're gonna come to their senses,
aren't they?

699
00:40:58,690 --> 00:41:00,556
- Sure.
- Do you really believe that?

700
00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:01,949
No.

701
00:41:03,261 --> 00:41:06,060
I was positive Marcia or Jan
would call me this morning and say,

702
00:41:06,197 --> 00:41:07,687
"April Fool, Mom!"

703
00:41:08,933 --> 00:41:11,027
Would anybody like a cup of coffee?

704
00:41:11,169 --> 00:41:12,466
Thanks.

705
00:41:12,603 --> 00:41:14,571
I was sure I'd get a call.

706
00:41:18,176 --> 00:41:20,235
Oh, I must be out of practice.

707
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:24,213
I'll bet it's Marcia.
She never could carry a grudge.

708
00:41:24,349 --> 00:41:25,578
Maybe it's Jan.

709
00:41:26,217 --> 00:41:28,049
She was always the first to admit
she was wrong.

710
00:41:28,186 --> 00:41:31,178
You're right. It's probably Jan.
She never could stay angry.

711
00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:33,950
Maybe you were right the first time.
Marcia is more flexible.

712
00:41:34,092 --> 00:41:35,958
Remember the time she...

713
00:41:36,094 --> 00:41:40,327
Alice, if we don't answer that phone,
we'll never know if it's Jan or Marcia.

714
00:41:41,699 --> 00:41:43,360
- Hello, Jan...
- Marcia?

715
00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:44,662
- Peter!
- Peter?

716
00:41:44,802 --> 00:41:45,564
Peter.

717
00:41:45,703 --> 00:41:49,367
Peter?
Honey, we didn't expect your call.

718
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:51,032
How are you?

719
00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:53,876
I'm OK, Mom.
But something awful's come up.

720
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,104
Did Greg tell you?

721
00:41:55,246 --> 00:41:57,806
Greg? No, no.
I found out from my captain.

722
00:41:57,949 --> 00:42:01,112
Your captain?
How would your captain know?

723
00:42:01,252 --> 00:42:04,244
Well, I guess the colonel told him.
And the general told him.

724
00:42:04,389 --> 00:42:05,413
That's how it works.

725
00:42:05,556 --> 00:42:09,117
Peter, I think we might be
talking about two different things.

726
00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:12,093
Well,I'm talking about flight
exercises. The orders just came though.

727
00:42:12,230 --> 00:42:14,722
The whole squadron's
got to take off in nine days.

728
00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:16,664
I guess I'm gonna have to
miss the wedding.

729
00:42:16,801 --> 00:42:17,825
You too?

730
00:42:17,969 --> 00:42:19,767
You mean there might be somebody else
who can't make it?

731
00:42:19,904 --> 00:42:21,770
That is a possibility.

732
00:42:21,906 --> 00:42:24,841
Well,I'm sorry, Mom.
But the Air Force has got dibs on me.

733
00:42:24,976 --> 00:42:26,808
They've got this idea
that national security

734
00:42:26,944 --> 00:42:28,912
is more important
than my sisters' weddings.

735
00:42:29,414 --> 00:42:32,907
Well, I'll tell Jan and Marcia.
I'm sure they're gonna be disappointed.

736
00:42:34,085 --> 00:42:37,453
OK, Mom. Tell "em I'm sorry. Bye.

737
00:42:43,995 --> 00:42:46,020
Are you sure they said meet them here?

738
00:42:46,164 --> 00:42:47,996
This is Philip's favorite place.

739
00:42:48,132 --> 00:42:50,829
He says the ambience is stimulating.

740
00:42:50,968 --> 00:42:53,835
- He would.
- Wally!

741
00:42:54,272 --> 00:42:57,435
Wally... Come on!

742
00:42:58,376 --> 00:43:00,242
You've gotta try to get along.

743
00:43:00,378 --> 00:43:03,279
That's the purpose of this meeting.
Don't be so stubborn.

744
00:43:03,414 --> 00:43:05,576
Honey, I get along with everybody.

745
00:43:05,716 --> 00:43:07,980
It's that Philip,
he's the one who's stubborn,

746
00:43:08,119 --> 00:43:09,518
or else he'd agree with me.

747
00:43:09,654 --> 00:43:11,315
Please, Wally?

748
00:43:12,023 --> 00:43:15,084
OK. Or, as we say in the toy business,

749
00:43:15,226 --> 00:43:17,627
let's wind her up
and see if it chug-a-chugs.

750
00:43:19,297 --> 00:43:20,696
Oh, where are they?

751
00:43:20,832 --> 00:43:23,199
That's what makes us different.
We're always early.

752
00:43:23,334 --> 00:43:24,665
Philip and Jan are always...

753
00:43:24,802 --> 00:43:26,065
Right on time.

754
00:43:26,204 --> 00:43:27,262
- Hello.

755
00:43:27,405 --> 00:43:28,065
Hi, Marcia.

756
00:43:28,206 --> 00:43:29,867
- Philip.
- Wally.

757
00:43:30,007 --> 00:43:31,941
Enjoying a fine place?

758
00:43:32,076 --> 00:43:33,669
- How are you doing?
- Just fine.

759
00:43:33,811 --> 00:43:35,176
Good. Here.

760
00:43:36,147 --> 00:43:39,014
Uh, should we order before we talk?

761
00:43:39,150 --> 00:43:40,845
Why beat around the bush?

762
00:43:40,985 --> 00:43:43,716
Like Philip says,
trumpeter swans lay it all on the table.

763
00:43:43,855 --> 00:43:46,654
Not precise. Acceptable.

764
00:43:47,992 --> 00:43:49,858
We could order some wine first.

765
00:43:50,561 --> 00:43:53,531
- Chug-a-chug.
- OK.

766
00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:56,623
- Sir...
- Excuse me, pal. You got a wine list?

767
00:43:59,904 --> 00:44:02,202
This is our favorite restaurant.

768
00:44:02,340 --> 00:44:06,277
- No wonder. The ambience's stimulating.
- Very well put.

769
00:44:07,778 --> 00:44:09,405
- About last night...
- we were...

770
00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:11,778
Go ahead.

771
00:44:12,350 --> 00:44:17,083
Last night... we got outside
and Philip and I started to talk.

772
00:44:17,555 --> 00:44:21,753
Whether it's your way or our way
isn't as important as getting married.

773
00:44:21,893 --> 00:44:23,088
That's what we were saying.

774
00:44:23,227 --> 00:44:26,561
Why let a small difference of opinion
stop what we all want?

775
00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:29,395
Then we're agreed.

776
00:44:29,534 --> 00:44:31,195
- Agreed.
- Agreed.

777
00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:32,962
- There's a problem.
- What?

778
00:44:33,104 --> 00:44:34,731
Wehaven't agreed on anything.

779
00:44:35,706 --> 00:44:38,698
- Why bring up details?
- We agreed to agree, didn't we?

780
00:44:38,843 --> 00:44:40,811
Yeah. At least
that's a good starting point.

781
00:44:45,983 --> 00:44:47,246
Oh, terrific.

782
00:44:49,253 --> 00:44:50,721
Here you go.

783
00:44:50,821 --> 00:44:51,720
Yes.

784
00:44:51,822 --> 00:44:52,914
Have you decided?

785
00:44:53,057 --> 00:44:55,116
- We'llhave the Cold Duck.
- The Pouilly-Fuissé 1969.

786
00:44:55,259 --> 00:44:57,694
Pouilly-Fuissé... Cold Duck...
Which will it be?

787
00:44:58,496 --> 00:44:59,793
His.

788
00:45:02,466 --> 00:45:04,298
We'llhave Cold... Duck.

789
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:09,002
Does duck go with chicken?

790
00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:10,539
Like birds of a feather.

791
00:45:26,057 --> 00:45:27,718
I'm glad we're all friends again.

792
00:45:27,858 --> 00:45:29,849
Yes. Friends, friends, friends.

793
00:45:30,494 --> 00:45:32,792
And now that we're friends,
let's all be relatives.

794
00:45:32,930 --> 00:45:34,762
Relatives, relatives, relatives.

795
00:45:34,899 --> 00:45:36,993
In vino veritas.

796
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:39,161
Are you drunk or was that Latin?

797
00:45:39,804 --> 00:45:41,533
Maybe a little of both.

798
00:45:41,672 --> 00:45:45,108
In vino es veritas.
In wine there's truth.

799
00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:48,213
Hey, that's it!
We'lllet the wine decide.

800
00:45:49,113 --> 00:45:50,808
I mean the wine bottle.

801
00:45:50,948 --> 00:45:53,315
- Did you ever play Spin the Bottle?
- Sure.

802
00:45:53,451 --> 00:45:54,850
- Sometimes.
- Never.

803
00:45:56,287 --> 00:45:58,051
Give me the bottle.

804
00:45:58,189 --> 00:45:59,623
I'll spin the bottle.

805
00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:02,556
And whoever it lands on
gets to decide the style of the wedding.

806
00:46:02,693 --> 00:46:05,162
- Great idea.
- It sounds fair to me.

807
00:46:05,296 --> 00:46:06,525
May I see the bottle, please?

808
00:46:07,198 --> 00:46:08,666
You don't trust me?

809
00:46:08,799 --> 00:46:11,666
Trust the man who gives the world
Snoozy Suzy?

810
00:46:15,806 --> 00:46:17,831
Thank you. OK, here we go.

811
00:46:18,876 --> 00:46:20,537
Who'sit gonna be?

812
00:46:21,846 --> 00:46:23,211
Here we go.

813
00:46:24,882 --> 00:46:26,247
Come on!

814
00:46:28,319 --> 00:46:29,980
Yeah!

815
00:46:35,693 --> 00:46:38,594
- The bottle stopped halfway between us.
- What do we do now?

816
00:46:39,330 --> 00:46:41,799
Good year for wine.
Bad year for spinning.

817
00:46:43,501 --> 00:46:46,198
According to the bottle,
the wedding should be half and half.

818
00:46:46,337 --> 00:46:47,896
Half and half.

819
00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:50,170
Hey!

820
00:46:51,208 --> 00:46:52,437
Mom, it's Marcia.

821
00:46:52,576 --> 00:46:53,702
Hit

822
00:46:53,844 --> 00:46:55,778
Jan, Philip and Wally are with me.

823
00:46:55,913 --> 00:46:58,211
If you're still interested
in throwing a wedding,

824
00:46:58,349 --> 00:47:00,977
we're still interested in having...
one or two.

825
00:47:01,118 --> 00:47:03,883
That's great!

826
00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:06,054
Hi, Mom. It's Jan.

827
00:47:06,190 --> 00:47:08,557
Hi, honey. Oh, I'm so happy.

828
00:47:08,693 --> 00:47:10,627
What'sit gonna be,
traditional or modern?

829
00:47:10,761 --> 00:47:12,627
Uh, traditional-modern.

830
00:47:13,864 --> 00:47:15,559
Or modern-traditional.

831
00:47:16,267 --> 00:47:17,359
What does that mean?

832
00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:20,801
We're not sure yet,
but we're sure gonna find out. Bye.

833
00:47:20,938 --> 00:47:22,201
Goodbye.

834
00:47:22,773 --> 00:47:24,502
Oh, isn't it wonderful?

835
00:47:24,642 --> 00:47:28,101
Terrific! We gotta get back to work.
All systems are go again.

836
00:47:28,245 --> 00:47:29,371
Right.

837
00:47:30,481 --> 00:47:34,714
Peter... Peter can't be here!
Unless...

838
00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:36,752
Mrs. Brady, are you planning
to call the Pentagon?

839
00:47:36,887 --> 00:47:38,150
Oh, don't be silly, Alice.

840
00:47:38,289 --> 00:47:39,757
You know you can't budge the Air Force.

841
00:47:39,890 --> 00:47:41,585
What are you planning to budge, then?

842
00:47:43,694 --> 00:47:45,128
Not the weddings?

843
00:47:49,233 --> 00:47:52,225
Alice, we can't have these weddings
without all the children.

844
00:47:52,737 --> 00:47:53,966
Well, can we?

845
00:47:54,105 --> 00:47:55,766
- No, we can't.
- All right.

846
00:47:55,906 --> 00:47:58,773
We have to call all the guests
and everyone involved

847
00:47:58,909 --> 00:48:00,434
and switch all the plans for everything.

848
00:48:00,578 --> 00:48:03,707
But first, we're gonna do something
that's even more important.

849
00:48:03,848 --> 00:48:05,247
What are we doing, Mrs. Brady?

850
00:48:05,383 --> 00:48:08,080
We are going to put Gilbert and Sullivan
back together again.

851
00:48:08,219 --> 00:48:12,656
and' A wandering minstrel, I...

852
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:16,955
All set?

853
00:48:17,094 --> 00:48:19,586
- And you know what you have to do.
- The florist, the chairs, the organist.

854
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,459
The photographer,
the reverend, the cake.

855
00:48:21,599 --> 00:48:24,432
All right. Head 'em up and move 'em out.

856
00:48:32,009 --> 00:48:33,477
This weekend?

857
00:48:33,611 --> 00:48:35,045
In order to make it for next weekend,

858
00:48:35,179 --> 00:48:37,614
I had to trade duty
for 24 straight hours.

859
00:48:38,182 --> 00:48:42,380
To get to the wedding this weekend, I
guess I'll have to trade another shift.

860
00:48:43,020 --> 00:48:45,853
But don't worry. I'll be there somehow.

861
00:48:47,191 --> 00:48:50,889
Are you serious? Mom,
that's the day of the college playoffs.

862
00:48:51,028 --> 00:48:53,520
Our game's at 11 o'clock.
So how can I get there?

863
00:48:54,498 --> 00:48:55,966
I may have to steal home.

864
00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:57,864
And I mean steal home!

865
00:48:58,669 --> 00:49:02,037
But that's the day the Drama Department's
putting on My Fair Lady.

866
00:49:02,173 --> 00:49:06,007
Oh, no! Honey,
is there anything you can do?

867
00:49:06,143 --> 00:49:10,410
Well, it's a matinee,
Mom, but I'll do me best,

868
00:49:10,548 --> 00:49:13,415
even if 'ave to 'ide from "enry 'iggins.

869
00:49:16,220 --> 00:49:18,188
By George, I think we've got it!

870
00:49:51,755 --> 00:49:54,053
- I'd better check on the brides.
- I think I'll check the grooms.

871
00:49:54,191 --> 00:49:56,683
- What do you want me to do?
- You worry about Greg, Peter and Bobby.

872
00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:57,851
Fine.

873
00:50:12,309 --> 00:50:13,970
Cindy, does it look OK?

874
00:50:14,912 --> 00:50:16,209
Beautiful.

875
00:50:16,747 --> 00:50:19,079
You know, if you weren't
getting married today,

876
00:50:19,216 --> 00:50:21,651
there's a couple of guys
I could fix you up with.

877
00:50:24,922 --> 00:50:25,980
How do I look?

878
00:50:26,123 --> 00:50:27,591
Classic.

879
00:50:29,293 --> 00:50:30,761
Gorgeous.

880
00:50:30,895 --> 00:50:33,330
You know, you're one of
the two prettiest brides

881
00:50:33,464 --> 00:50:34,898
in this whole wedding.

882
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:40,000
Cindy, do we really look OK?

883
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:43,238
For the past half-hour,
I've told both of you

884
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:47,333
that you look beautiful,
radiant, gorgeous, fantastic.

885
00:50:47,478 --> 00:50:49,845
If you keep asking,
I'll start telling you the truth.

886
00:51:11,802 --> 00:51:13,463
Mom's going to cry again.

887
00:51:13,871 --> 00:51:16,533
Mom! Oh, Mom.

888
00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:19,710
If you and Alice don't stop crying,

889
00:51:19,843 --> 00:51:22,778
we're all gonna need snorkels.

890
00:51:23,948 --> 00:51:26,440
Thank goodness
your understudy took over for you.

891
00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,644
Come on, girls, we've got to hurry.
We haven't got much time.

892
00:51:31,455 --> 00:51:33,719
Cindy, I didn't know
that you gave up the play.

893
00:51:33,857 --> 00:51:34,847
And you had the lead.

894
00:51:35,359 --> 00:51:36,554
It's no big deal.

895
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:40,655
But if that understudy
goes on and becomes a star...

896
00:51:41,298 --> 00:51:43,790
...I'll never speak to
either of you again.

897
00:51:59,950 --> 00:52:01,179
That takes care of that.

898
00:52:02,886 --> 00:52:04,354
You shaved off your mustache.

899
00:52:05,456 --> 00:52:06,480
I did?

900
00:52:08,826 --> 00:52:10,316
Isn't that a little spontaneous?

901
00:52:10,728 --> 00:52:11,957
It's my life.

902
00:52:12,663 --> 00:52:13,789
It's my lip.

903
00:52:13,931 --> 00:52:16,423
I decided
if I'm going to start a new life,

904
00:52:16,567 --> 00:52:18,831
why not start it with a new lip?

905
00:52:19,603 --> 00:52:21,867
That's how I am.
When I decide to do something,

906
00:52:22,006 --> 00:52:23,167
I do it!

907
00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:24,570
Excuse me.

908
00:52:28,112 --> 00:52:33,312
Perfect. Now for
that added little touch... of color.

909
00:52:35,052 --> 00:52:36,918
- Perfect.
- Thank you.

910
00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:41,121
You need some help with your tie?

911
00:52:41,258 --> 00:52:43,955
No, I can manage.
I'm used to formal attire.

912
00:52:44,595 --> 00:52:45,858
It figures.

913
00:52:48,365 --> 00:52:49,526
- Philly...
- Philip.

914
00:52:49,667 --> 00:52:50,657
Philip.

915
00:52:51,201 --> 00:52:55,900
Like it or not, in a couple of hours,
we are going to be brother-in-laws.

916
00:52:58,308 --> 00:53:01,039
In the first place,
it's not brother-in-laws,

917
00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:02,771
it's brothers-in-law.

918
00:53:02,913 --> 00:53:06,042
And in the second place,
we're not going to be brother-in-laws.

919
00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:09,153
Marcia's going to be my sister-in-law,
and if you're married to her,

920
00:53:09,286 --> 00:53:11,482
that does not make you
my brother-in-law.

921
00:53:12,956 --> 00:53:15,323
You're unofficial.

922
00:53:17,294 --> 00:53:19,388
Is that anything like illegitimate?

923
00:53:25,969 --> 00:53:27,733
- Hi, guys.

924
00:53:27,871 --> 00:53:29,737
Oh, you did shave it off?

925
00:53:29,873 --> 00:53:31,932
Well, Marcia told me
she said it had to go.

926
00:53:32,076 --> 00:53:34,773
Oh. You decided to shave it off.

927
00:53:34,912 --> 00:53:36,880
All Marcia said was,

928
00:53:37,014 --> 00:53:39,779
"Wally, about your mustache...

929
00:53:39,917 --> 00:53:41,646
Either it goes, or I go."

930
00:53:41,785 --> 00:53:43,082
But I decided.

931
00:53:44,655 --> 00:53:48,023
Hey... you guys look pretty good.

932
00:53:48,659 --> 00:53:50,354
But you should see my daughters.

933
00:53:50,494 --> 00:53:52,223
Uh, uh, uh, Dad.

934
00:53:52,362 --> 00:53:53,852
According to tradition,

935
00:53:53,997 --> 00:53:56,728
the groom isn't supposed to see
the bride until the actual wedding.

936
00:53:56,867 --> 00:53:58,858
Mike, what if I marry the wrong one?

937
00:53:59,670 --> 00:54:01,468
I've seen them both. You couldn't.

938
00:54:02,639 --> 00:54:04,801
Well, I just stopped by
to see how you guys are doing.

939
00:54:04,942 --> 00:54:05,966
You nervous?

940
00:54:06,110 --> 00:54:07,737
Me, nervous?

941
00:54:07,878 --> 00:54:09,073
Yep.

942
00:54:09,613 --> 00:54:11,672
My pulse is a bit rapid too.

943
00:54:11,815 --> 00:54:13,806
Well,can I help?
Anything you want to talk about?

944
00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:17,979
You mean... man to man?
Birds and the bees type talk?

945
00:54:18,122 --> 00:54:19,681
- Well...
- I didn't think

946
00:54:19,823 --> 00:54:21,518
there was anything you needed to know.

947
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:24,787
I teach science. So...

948
00:54:24,928 --> 00:54:26,487
Yeah. And I...

949
00:54:26,930 --> 00:54:28,694
Yes, I get the point.

950
00:54:28,832 --> 00:54:30,459
Is your whole family here yet, Dad?

951
00:54:31,335 --> 00:54:32,461
Uh...

952
00:54:34,204 --> 00:54:36,502
There's Peter now!

953
00:54:47,651 --> 00:54:49,141
One down, two to go.

954
00:54:51,088 --> 00:54:52,954
You know, I kinda liked the mustache.

955
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,519
Your tie is crooked.

956
00:55:05,102 --> 00:55:06,866
Peter, it's so good to have you here.

957
00:55:07,004 --> 00:55:08,631
Well,it's not just the weddings, Mom.

958
00:55:08,772 --> 00:55:10,638
I wouldn't miss that civilian food
for anything.

959
00:55:14,344 --> 00:55:16,472
- Pete.
- Hey, Dad!

960
00:55:16,613 --> 00:55:18,980
I don't know
whether to shake hands or salute.

961
00:55:19,116 --> 00:55:20,675
Come on, I've got a better idea.

962
00:55:20,818 --> 00:55:24,118
- How are you, Peter?
- Oh, I'm fine. Where is everybody?

963
00:55:24,254 --> 00:55:26,586
- The girls are getting ready.
- Where's Greg and Bobby?

964
00:55:26,723 --> 00:55:29,420
I'm sure they'll get here.
They said they'd do everything possible.

965
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:31,153
If they miss the wedding
because of me...

966
00:55:31,295 --> 00:55:34,026
- It's not your fault.
- All we can do is pray.

967
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:37,600
- At least there's a reverend here.
- Come on, Peter!

968
00:56:07,598 --> 00:56:09,430
- Five minutes.
- Hi, Mom.

969
00:56:09,566 --> 00:56:12,058
- Are you ready, Wally?
- You bet.

970
00:56:13,136 --> 00:56:15,434
Not too late to back out, son.

971
00:56:15,572 --> 00:56:17,267
He's just kidding, Wally.

972
00:56:18,008 --> 00:56:19,305
You bet.

973
00:56:19,877 --> 00:56:21,470
Mother, Dad.

974
00:56:21,612 --> 00:56:24,104
I want you to know I appreciate
how great you've been.

975
00:56:24,248 --> 00:56:27,343
It's nothing to cry about.

976
00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:32,655
I've worked very hard to bring you
to this day. I can cry if I want!

977
00:56:34,591 --> 00:56:37,026
- Well, folks, good luck to all of us.
- Thanks, Mike.

978
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,026
Don't worry.
Your other children will get here.

979
00:56:39,162 --> 00:56:41,995
If I look worried,
it's only because I'm worried.

980
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,896
Claudia, Philip. Philip.

981
00:56:44,034 --> 00:56:46,230
- Did they show up yet, Dad?
- Not yet. Not yet.

982
00:56:46,370 --> 00:56:49,271
I hope it's soon.
Claudia has a good cry scheduled.

983
00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:51,500
I'm positive they'll be here. Maybe.

984
00:56:54,111 --> 00:56:55,806
Yeah, thanks a lot!

985
00:57:23,073 --> 00:57:24,507
Attaboy, Bob!

986
00:57:29,079 --> 00:57:30,877
Bobby, thank goodness you're here.

987
00:57:31,014 --> 00:57:32,914
Sorry, Mom.
The game went into extra innings.

988
00:57:33,050 --> 00:57:34,677
Nice touch with the shoes, Bob.

989
00:57:35,152 --> 00:57:36,415
My cleats!

990
00:57:36,553 --> 00:57:38,681
I forgot to take off my cleats.

991
00:57:39,356 --> 00:57:41,552
What's important is that you're here.

992
00:57:41,692 --> 00:57:43,353
What's important is that we won.

993
00:57:43,493 --> 00:57:46,463
At least get him out of the aisle.
You might spike one of the brides.

994
00:57:46,596 --> 00:57:47,893
OK.

995
00:57:49,032 --> 00:57:50,761
Did you bring a good present?

996
00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:55,238
Hi, Mrs. Logan. Hi.

997
00:57:56,907 --> 00:57:58,898
Sit down there. You sit down there.

998
00:58:18,929 --> 00:58:21,023
- Hi! You made it.
- You came!

999
00:58:21,164 --> 00:58:22,962
You all look great.

1000
00:58:23,100 --> 00:58:24,966
Thank you. So do you.

1001
00:58:25,102 --> 00:58:26,763
But only brides
are supposed to wear white.

1002
00:58:31,875 --> 00:58:33,502
I was in a real hurry.

1003
00:58:33,643 --> 00:58:35,270
Great! Glad you could make it.

1004
00:58:35,412 --> 00:58:37,710
I'm sorry I'm late, Dad.
I got stuck in the delivery room.

1005
00:58:37,848 --> 00:58:39,145
It was twins.

1006
00:58:39,616 --> 00:58:42,244
Congratulations.
We'd better get him in there.

1007
00:58:42,386 --> 00:58:43,785
Come on, Greg.

1008
00:58:47,657 --> 00:58:49,648
- See you later.
- Greg!

1009
00:58:49,793 --> 00:58:51,887
I left my bouquet upstairs.

1010
00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:53,497
Your bouquet?

1011
00:58:56,066 --> 00:58:57,227
Here you go.

1012
00:59:26,730 --> 00:59:29,165
Well, girls,
it was one heck of a struggle,

1013
00:59:29,299 --> 00:59:31,734
but now everything
is absolutely perfect.

1014
01:01:11,334 --> 01:01:13,894
Alice, please, be strong.

1015
01:01:39,329 --> 01:01:42,196
I find this ceremony
one of the most unusual,

1016
01:01:42,332 --> 01:01:47,293
and one of the happiest,
at which I've ever officiated.

1017
01:01:47,437 --> 01:01:50,566
Or should I say... two of the happiest.

1018
01:01:51,308 --> 01:01:53,208
- Phil...
- Philip.

1019
01:01:53,343 --> 01:01:55,277
Philip and Jan.

1020
01:01:56,079 --> 01:01:57,843
- Wallace...
- Wally.

1021
01:01:57,981 --> 01:02:00,313
Wally and Marcia.

1022
01:02:00,450 --> 01:02:05,115
You two couples are entering
married life in a most joyous fashion.

1023
01:02:05,255 --> 01:02:06,745
But what better beginning

1024
01:02:06,890 --> 01:02:12,158
than a double wedding for
two beautiful sisters, Marcia and Jan,

1025
01:02:12,295 --> 01:02:15,697
surrounded by family and friends.

1026
01:02:16,366 --> 01:02:19,392
I've known both of you girls
throughout your lives

1027
01:02:19,536 --> 01:02:24,667
and I am privileged indeed to offer
my blessings upon this special occasion.

1028
01:02:24,808 --> 01:02:26,572
Come together, please.

1029
01:02:31,081 --> 01:02:35,678
Jan Brady, in accordance with tradition
and the law of this state,

1030
01:02:35,819 --> 01:02:39,221
do you take this man,
Philip Covington I,

1031
01:02:39,356 --> 01:02:43,623
as your lawful wedded husband,
to love, honor and cherish

1032
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:47,355
in sickness and in health
till death do you part?

1033
01:02:50,433 --> 01:02:51,525
I do.

1034
01:02:54,004 --> 01:02:55,836
And do you, Philip Covington,

1035
01:02:55,972 --> 01:02:58,669
take this woman, Jan Brady,

1036
01:02:58,808 --> 01:03:00,970
as your lawful wedded wife,

1037
01:03:01,111 --> 01:03:04,172
to love, honor and cherish

1038
01:03:04,314 --> 01:03:06,373
in sickness and in health

1039
01:03:06,516 --> 01:03:08,416
till death do you part?

1040
01:03:10,020 --> 01:03:11,283
I do.

1041
01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:17,449
Rings, please.

1042
01:03:31,541 --> 01:03:33,566
You may now kiss the bride.

1043
01:03:52,195 --> 01:03:53,993
Uh... next?

1044
01:04:04,207 --> 01:04:05,936
Marcia Brady...

1045
01:04:06,076 --> 01:04:07,407
I love you...

1046
01:04:08,378 --> 01:04:10,005
...with all my heart...

1047
01:04:10,647 --> 01:04:12,513
...and from this day forward,

1048
01:04:12,649 --> 01:04:17,382
everything I do will be with you,
for you and because of you.

1049
01:04:21,257 --> 01:04:22,782
Wally Logan...

1050
01:04:22,926 --> 01:04:25,190
I am proud to be your wife.

1051
01:04:25,929 --> 01:04:29,923
I will try to make each day
a part of our life to love,

1052
01:04:30,066 --> 01:04:32,057
to remember and to share.

1053
01:04:35,305 --> 01:04:36,670
I love you.

1054
01:04:58,061 --> 01:04:59,495
May I now kiss the bride?

1055
01:05:02,332 --> 01:05:03,959
That would be a good idea.

1056
01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:19,147
Wally, Marcia.

1057
01:05:20,517 --> 01:05:22,315
Wally, Marcia...

1058
01:05:22,886 --> 01:05:24,285
Wally, Marcia!

1059
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:25,786
Philip and Jan...

1060
01:05:29,092 --> 01:05:31,618
... now pronounce you
husband and wife...

1061
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:34,924
...and husband and wife.

1062
01:05:52,749 --> 01:05:58,017
<i>I Because you come to me</i>

1063
01:05:58,154 --> 01:06:01,920
<i>I With naught save love</i>

1064
01:06:02,659 --> 01:06:08,598
<i>I And hold my hand
And lift mine eyes above</i>

1065
01:06:09,032 --> 01:06:14,129
I A wider world of hope and joy { see

1066
01:06:15,472 --> 01:06:18,464
I Because

1067
01:06:18,608 --> 01:06:24,240
I You come to me

1068
01:07:02,385 --> 01:07:04,353
- Hey! It's my brother-in-law!
- Hi!

1069
01:07:07,957 --> 01:07:10,824
- Hey, Mom! You gonna eat that?
- Yes, I'm starved!

1070
01:07:17,700 --> 01:07:19,464
Not using fingers.

1071
01:07:19,602 --> 01:07:20,694
Mmm, that's pretty good.

1072
01:07:24,073 --> 01:07:26,201
- Oh, it's beautiful.
- Mmm.

1073
01:07:30,747 --> 01:07:32,044
- Mike...
- Hmm?

1074
01:07:32,181 --> 01:07:34,343
Does that cake bring back memories?

1075
01:07:34,484 --> 01:07:37,920
Yes, it sure does.

1076
01:07:40,423 --> 01:07:42,790
There she goes!

1077
01:07:52,535 --> 01:07:55,368
Mike, thank goodness
you saved the cake!

1078
01:07:55,505 --> 01:07:56,768
Oh!

1079
01:07:58,441 --> 01:08:01,206
Oh, Mike!

1080
01:08:03,313 --> 01:08:04,576
Well...

1081
01:08:05,815 --> 01:08:08,443
We may have started
with a disaster,

1082
01:08:08,585 --> 01:08:11,520
but we sure haven't ended up that way.

1083
01:08:11,654 --> 01:08:15,215
Yeah, and next Thursday the whole
squadron goes on flight exercises.

1084
01:08:15,358 --> 01:08:18,726
- Hey, a camping trip.
- Bobby, this is the Air Force!

1085
01:08:18,861 --> 01:08:21,262
Sleeping in tents, hiking.
Sounds like fun.

1086
01:08:22,732 --> 01:08:24,359
Has he always been such a bozo?

1087
01:08:25,268 --> 01:08:26,758
Ever since I can remember.

1088
01:08:26,903 --> 01:08:29,372
Come on, you guys.
No more of that little brother stuff.

1089
01:08:29,505 --> 01:08:30,700
What| do is important.

1090
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:33,866
I just made the game-winning catch today
with the bases loaded.

1091
01:08:34,010 --> 01:08:35,444
Very important!

1092
01:08:35,578 --> 01:08:37,740
It was! It put our team in the playoff.

1093
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:39,439
I was up against offense.

1094
01:08:39,582 --> 01:08:40,879
I had to jump like this...

1095
01:08:41,017 --> 01:08:43,247
Whoal!

1096
01:08:45,088 --> 01:08:46,317
I'll get it!

1097
01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:50,927
I can get it!

1098
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:53,391
I got it!

1099
01:08:58,334 --> 01:08:59,699
Wally!

1100
01:09:02,505 --> 01:09:05,304
- Should we help?
- No, leave him there.

1101
01:09:08,077 --> 01:09:10,512
Thanks a lot!

1102
01:09:15,118 --> 01:09:18,315
Oh, Wally, I'm really sorry. I...

1103
01:09:18,454 --> 01:09:20,650
Don't worry about it, buddy.
Put it there.

1104
01:09:24,961 --> 01:09:26,156
Cake's ready, everyone!

1105
01:09:32,001 --> 01:09:33,833
This is a beautiful house.

1106
01:09:33,970 --> 01:09:36,064
Well, don't go getting any ideas,

1107
01:09:36,205 --> 01:09:38,037
because it's way beyond
your means right now.

1108
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:39,835
Only temporarily.

1109
01:09:40,543 --> 01:09:42,602
For the next 20 years.

1110
01:09:42,745 --> 01:09:46,443
Why not look around? I have to lock up
and check the backyard and garage.

1111
01:09:46,582 --> 01:09:49,449
Well, take your time.
We're waiting for Jan anyway.

1112
01:09:49,585 --> 01:09:51,883
You know... You know I love Jan,

1113
01:09:52,021 --> 01:09:55,651
but why is it so important for your
sister to help us find an apartment?

1114
01:09:55,792 --> 01:09:57,021
Well,you don't understand sisters.

1115
01:09:57,160 --> 01:09:59,686
It's something I do for her
and she does for me.

1116
01:10:00,363 --> 01:10:01,558
It's called meddling.

1117
01:10:01,698 --> 01:10:02,824
- Oh!
- Yeah.

1118
01:10:03,433 --> 01:10:05,060
- Hi.
- Hi.

1119
01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:07,329
Wow! What a pretty house.

1120
01:10:07,470 --> 01:10:09,564
Oh, it's great! It's terrific!

1121
01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:12,937
Please, I'm an architect.
Let me give you the technical term...

1122
01:10:13,076 --> 01:10:15,340
Mmm... Fabulous!

1123
01:10:15,478 --> 01:10:17,742
Mom and Wally should be back soon.
Do you want to look around?

1124
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:19,575
Sure. Do you think we should?

1125
01:10:19,716 --> 01:10:21,741
- No, but let's!
- OK.

1126
01:10:21,884 --> 01:10:23,978
The kitchen's this way, I think.

1127
01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,819
It's got every modern convenience.

1128
01:10:27,957 --> 01:10:30,517
Dishwasher, garbage disposal,
built-in oven!

1129
01:10:30,660 --> 01:10:32,594
Julia Child could go wild.

1130
01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:34,254
It even has a wine rack.

1131
01:10:34,630 --> 01:10:36,496
Betty Crocker could get crocked!

1132
01:10:36,632 --> 01:10:39,226
- Want to check out the bedrooms?
- Yeah, this way.

1133
01:10:39,368 --> 01:10:40,665
This is just the kind of house

1134
01:10:40,803 --> 01:10:42,430
Philip and |
would like to own some day.

1135
01:10:42,572 --> 01:10:44,631
Yeah. Wally and I
were saying the same thing.

1136
01:10:44,774 --> 01:10:47,505
And instead of paying rent for
an apartment, you'd have something.

1137
01:10:47,643 --> 01:10:49,941
Yeah, well, Mom and I
were talking about it,

1138
01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:53,538
and with Wally's job at Tyler Toys
and mine at Casual Clothes...

1139
01:10:53,683 --> 01:10:56,812
But if you put that together
with Philip's position at the college

1140
01:10:56,953 --> 01:11:01,049
and my salary, even though it's
just my first year as an architect...

1141
01:11:01,190 --> 01:11:02,521
Jan, that is an incredible idea!

1142
01:11:02,658 --> 01:11:05,286
I mean, it's the only way
two young couples could afford a house.

1143
01:11:05,428 --> 01:11:06,486
It would be perfect...

1144
01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:13,865
- What do you think?
- The same thing you're thinking,

1145
01:11:14,003 --> 01:11:15,164
only I'm thinking it more.

1146
01:11:15,304 --> 01:11:17,864
I mean, this is the only way that
we can afford it! It would be perfect!

1147
01:11:18,007 --> 01:11:21,068
Perfect! I love it!

1148
01:11:21,210 --> 01:11:22,803
- I love everything!
- I do too!

1149
01:11:22,945 --> 01:11:24,106
Ready to go?

1150
01:11:24,914 --> 01:11:27,315
No. We'reready to stay.

1151
01:11:27,817 --> 01:11:30,616
- It would be perfect.
- So much better than an apartment.

1152
01:11:32,755 --> 01:11:34,655
Hold it. Hold it.

1153
01:11:34,791 --> 01:11:36,657
Can you take it down to 33 and a third?

1154
01:11:36,793 --> 01:11:38,318
And then try it one at a time.

1155
01:11:38,895 --> 01:11:40,989
Well, Mother,
remember how you were saying

1156
01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:43,155
that Wally and I couldn't afford
a place like this yet?

1157
01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:44,460
Philip and I couldn't either.

1158
01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:47,262
But if we shared the house,
we'd have four salaries coming in.

1159
01:11:47,403 --> 01:11:49,462
- That is, if it's legal.
- Oh, it's legal.

1160
01:11:49,605 --> 01:11:51,232
Willowbrook sold several that way.

1161
01:11:51,374 --> 01:11:54,867
Well, how about making some
close relatives your next customers?

1162
01:11:55,011 --> 01:11:56,638
Oh, that would be great.

1163
01:11:59,182 --> 01:12:01,116
Hold it. Hold it.

1164
01:12:01,250 --> 01:12:02,979
Don't I have anything to say
about all this?

1165
01:12:03,119 --> 01:12:05,451
Well, depends on what you're gonna say.

1166
01:12:06,589 --> 01:12:07,647
I love it!

1167
01:12:10,793 --> 01:12:12,056
Why do I have to be blindfolded?

1168
01:12:12,195 --> 01:12:14,493
We want you to get the whole effect
all at once. Step.

1169
01:12:14,630 --> 01:12:16,758
- Down two steps.
- That's crazy.

1170
01:12:16,899 --> 01:12:20,802
It's childish. This whole idea
is rash, irresponsible and foolhardy.

1171
01:12:20,937 --> 01:12:22,735
- I'm taking this thing off.
- No, honey. Please, not yet.

1172
01:12:22,872 --> 01:12:24,567
You're right, Jan. He's stubborn.

1173
01:12:24,707 --> 01:12:27,438
Marcia, a lot of people say
I'm stubborn, but they're all wrong.

1174
01:12:27,577 --> 01:12:31,275
I'm not stubborn. Permanently
determined, maybe, but not stubborn.

1175
01:12:32,582 --> 01:12:33,845
Voila!

1176
01:12:36,285 --> 01:12:37,616
It's a house.

1177
01:12:38,988 --> 01:12:39,978
A very nice house.

1178
01:12:40,122 --> 01:12:42,284
It's a house
that the four of us can buy together.

1179
01:12:42,425 --> 01:12:44,792
Think of the advantages.
It's a great idea.

1180
01:12:45,728 --> 01:12:47,321
I hate the idea.

1181
01:12:47,463 --> 01:12:50,626
Give it a chance. Can't we at least
start to talk about it, Phil?

1182
01:12:50,766 --> 01:12:52,256
- Philip. Philip.
- Thanks.

1183
01:12:52,401 --> 01:12:56,338
Philip, I'm telling you,
buying this house is a wonderful idea.

1184
01:12:57,373 --> 01:13:00,343
Living with one person is difficult.
Two couples living together...

1185
01:13:00,476 --> 01:13:02,103
- that's impossible.
- It's wonderful.

1186
01:13:02,245 --> 01:13:03,235
- It's impossible.
- Wonderful!

1187
01:13:03,379 --> 01:13:04,369
- Impossible!
- Wonderful!

1188
01:13:04,513 --> 01:13:06,208
- Impossible!
- Philip, let's negotiate.

1189
01:13:06,349 --> 01:13:09,011
If Wally comes down
from "wonderful” to "not bad"”,

1190
01:13:09,151 --> 01:13:11,552
will you come up
from "impossible” to "eh"?

1191
01:13:12,088 --> 01:13:15,319
In all fairness, Philip, you could
at least look at the rest of the house.

1192
01:13:15,458 --> 01:13:19,395
OK... I'm looking at
the rest of the house.

1193
01:13:19,528 --> 01:13:21,587
- Built-in bookcases!
- Lots of closet space!

1194
01:13:21,731 --> 01:13:22,892
Rack and pinion steering.

1195
01:13:23,933 --> 01:13:27,767
Nice kitchen. Good size bedroom.
Wonderful bookcases.

1196
01:13:27,904 --> 01:13:29,303
- Isn't it great?
- Yeah.

1197
01:13:29,438 --> 01:13:31,736
- Excellent floor plan.
- Then give us one good reason

1198
01:13:31,874 --> 01:13:33,842
why we can't all
buy this house together.

1199
01:13:33,976 --> 01:13:36,604
- In alphabetical order?
- OK.

1200
01:13:37,613 --> 01:13:41,277
A for aquarium. What happens when
I bring in my tropical fish aquarium?

1201
01:13:41,417 --> 01:13:44,182
I take care of the fish.
I raise them. I baby them.

1202
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:46,652
I clean the tank,
and you'll be looking at them

1203
01:13:46,789 --> 01:13:48,416
without doing anything for them.

1204
01:13:49,992 --> 01:13:53,622
We won't look at them. We promise.
We don't even like tropical fish.

1205
01:13:55,531 --> 01:13:58,899
I don't know if I could live with anyone
that doesn't like tropical fish.

1206
01:14:00,603 --> 01:14:03,095
He was just saying that!
We like tropical fish.

1207
01:14:03,239 --> 01:14:06,038
Welove tropical fish.
But we promise we won't look at them.

1208
01:14:06,175 --> 01:14:08,405
What about parrots? Do you like parrots?

1209
01:14:08,544 --> 01:14:12,606
- Uh... We love parrots.
- We're crazy about parrots.

1210
01:14:12,748 --> 01:14:14,910
- I hate parrots.
- Oh.

1211
01:14:15,318 --> 01:14:17,514
But... But look,
we don't even have a parrot!

1212
01:14:17,653 --> 01:14:20,486
You might get one. People that are crazy
about parrots might get one,

1213
01:14:20,623 --> 01:14:21,749
and then what would I do?

1214
01:14:21,891 --> 01:14:23,484
Honey, don't you think
we can work it out?

1215
01:14:23,626 --> 01:14:24,991
It's simply not rational.

1216
01:14:25,127 --> 01:14:27,721
For once in your life,
throw ration to the wind.

1217
01:14:27,863 --> 01:14:31,390
For once in your life,
don't be practical.

1218
01:14:31,534 --> 01:14:35,164
I told you before,
I am rational, not practical.

1219
01:14:35,271 --> 01:14:36,261
I---

1220
01:14:36,439 --> 01:14:38,931
Where could I work on
my scientific experiments?

1221
01:14:39,075 --> 01:14:41,840
I need peace and quiet.
Where is the privacy?

1222
01:14:41,978 --> 01:14:43,776
That's just being practical.

1223
01:14:43,913 --> 01:14:45,847
As practical as you can be.

1224
01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:48,417
Practical. Practical. Practical.

1225
01:14:48,551 --> 01:14:50,849
Stop it. I can be just as impractical
as anyone.

1226
01:14:50,987 --> 01:14:52,682
- Then buy the house.
- If you had the papers

1227
01:14:52,822 --> 01:14:55,120
right here in front of me,
I'd show you how impracticall can be.

1228
01:14:56,192 --> 01:14:57,682
Mom!

1229
01:14:58,260 --> 01:15:00,695
Philip, my son. Sign here.

1230
01:15:00,830 --> 01:15:02,195
Good.

1231
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:03,727
And here.

1232
01:15:03,899 --> 01:15:05,264
Mm-hm.

1233
01:15:06,502 --> 01:15:07,594
And here.

1234
01:15:07,737 --> 01:15:09,728
Mm-hm.

1235
01:15:13,275 --> 01:15:16,267
- Have I been had?
- Not until you sign here.

1236
01:15:19,749 --> 01:15:21,148
Now you've been had!

1237
01:15:27,123 --> 01:15:28,420
In here, guys!

1238
01:15:42,805 --> 01:15:44,102
Where do you want it, Marcia?

1239
01:15:44,240 --> 01:15:46,800
- Over by the coffee table.
- I don't see no coffee table.

1240
01:15:46,942 --> 01:15:48,603
Do you see a coffee table, Frank?

1241
01:15:48,744 --> 01:15:51,679
I don't see a coffee table.
Unless it's made of glass.

1242
01:15:53,416 --> 01:15:57,148
I tell you what, this is a good place
for a coffee table.

1243
01:15:57,286 --> 01:15:58,617
Roger.

1244
01:16:09,031 --> 01:16:11,898
- Nice place, Marcia.
- Thanks, Maxie.

1245
01:16:12,034 --> 01:16:15,868
I really appreciate you moving my things
and Wally's things for the same price.

1246
01:16:16,005 --> 01:16:17,700
Hey, listen, it's the least we could do

1247
01:16:17,840 --> 01:16:20,707
for somebody who works
in the next building. Right, Frank?

1248
01:16:20,843 --> 01:16:23,540
No. The least we can do
is move the rest of the stuff in here.

1249
01:16:23,679 --> 01:16:25,147
Come on. Let's go.

1250
01:16:27,083 --> 01:16:28,642
Right in here, fellas.

1251
01:16:36,992 --> 01:16:39,757
Oh, no! Look at all this other stuff!

1252
01:16:39,895 --> 01:16:43,923
Wetried to tell you, lady.
We've already moved in three loads today.

1253
01:16:44,066 --> 01:16:45,659
Where am I gonna put it all?

1254
01:16:45,801 --> 01:16:49,533
You don't put. You point. We put.
Let's go.

1255
01:16:56,745 --> 01:16:59,715
- Look at this.
- Oh, my gosh!

1256
01:17:02,251 --> 01:17:05,312
You go that way and I'll go that way.
We're bound to find it.

1257
01:17:07,656 --> 01:17:10,353
I just hope it keeps ringing.

1258
01:17:18,801 --> 01:17:21,327
- Victory!
- Great.

1259
01:17:21,737 --> 01:17:23,034
Almost.

1260
01:17:23,806 --> 01:17:25,069
Oh, no.

1261
01:17:33,282 --> 01:17:35,649
- Jan!
- Coming.

1262
01:17:36,585 --> 01:17:38,781
Oh, hurry! This is our first phone call.

1263
01:17:45,895 --> 01:17:49,263
Hello. Oh, hi, Mrs. Logan.

1264
01:17:50,232 --> 01:17:51,358
It's your mother-in-law.

1265
01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:57,067
Marcia can't get to the phone right now.

1266
01:17:58,140 --> 01:18:01,974
Oh, yes, it got here all right. Oh, yes.

1267
01:18:02,111 --> 01:18:06,173
Well, we appreciate the furniture.
VWe really do.

1268
01:18:06,315 --> 01:18:08,943
It, um... fits right in.

1269
01:18:09,351 --> 01:18:11,285
Thank you. Bye.

1270
01:18:13,322 --> 01:18:16,348
Well, that explains
some of the furniture explosion.

1271
01:18:16,759 --> 01:18:19,023
Hi, honey, I'm... home?

1272
01:18:19,929 --> 01:18:22,864
- Hi, Wally.
- Hi. Keep talking.

1273
01:18:22,998 --> 01:18:25,194
I'll try to zero in on your voice.

1274
01:18:25,334 --> 01:18:29,134
Marcia Logan to Wally Logan.
Marcia Logan to Wally Logan...

1275
01:18:29,271 --> 01:18:32,138
- Keep talking.
- Come on down!

1276
01:18:33,275 --> 01:18:34,743
I gotcha!

1277
01:18:35,878 --> 01:18:38,040
- Hi, Wally.
- Hi, Jan.

1278
01:18:38,214 --> 01:18:40,410
Oh.

1279
01:18:40,549 --> 01:18:42,483
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi.

1280
01:18:42,618 --> 01:18:45,713
I am so sorry I didn't straighten up.
I just didn't have time.

1281
01:18:46,222 --> 01:18:48,850
Should I ask... what's new?

1282
01:18:48,991 --> 01:18:53,155
With your stuff and my stuff
and Marcia's stuff and Philip's stuff

1283
01:18:53,295 --> 01:18:55,161
and stuff from our folks
and stuff from your folks

1284
01:18:55,297 --> 01:18:59,256
and stuff from Philip's folks,
no wonder this place got so stuffed.

1285
01:19:01,804 --> 01:19:03,067
Hi, honey.

1286
01:19:07,576 --> 01:19:08,907
Jan, are you in there?

1287
01:19:09,044 --> 01:19:10,773
We're toward the dining room.

1288
01:19:11,547 --> 01:19:14,039
Maybe I'd better go round back
and come in through the kitchen.

1289
01:19:14,183 --> 01:19:17,585
No. There are three refrigerators
blocking the door.

1290
01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:19,518
Just follow the path Wally made.

1291
01:19:21,323 --> 01:19:22,813
I should have dropped breadcrumbs.

1292
01:19:23,692 --> 01:19:26,127
Can't we get rid of
some of this clutter?

1293
01:19:26,262 --> 01:19:28,060
Yeah, but which is the clutter?

1294
01:19:28,197 --> 01:19:30,291
Anything that isn't mine.

1295
01:19:35,537 --> 01:19:36,595
Careful, honey.

1296
01:19:36,739 --> 01:19:39,208
- Oh... I made it.
- Yeah.

1297
01:19:41,543 --> 01:19:43,739
We have got to get rid of some of this.

1298
01:19:43,879 --> 01:19:47,577
Not right away. I'm dead set against
getting rid of anything right away.

1299
01:19:47,716 --> 01:19:49,514
- Why?
- Well, you never know

1300
01:19:49,652 --> 01:19:51,313
when you're gonna need something.

1301
01:19:51,453 --> 01:19:52,887
Hello!

1302
01:19:54,823 --> 01:19:59,761
- Anybody home?
- Yes. We'reall home. Who are you?

1303
01:19:59,895 --> 01:20:01,863
Miss Fritzenger, your neighbor.

1304
01:20:02,431 --> 01:20:04,729
The door's open. Can I come in?

1305
01:20:04,867 --> 01:20:06,426
If you can.

1306
01:20:08,604 --> 01:20:10,003
Where are you?

1307
01:20:10,139 --> 01:20:13,370
We'rethree couches,
seven chairs and nine tables away.

1308
01:20:16,979 --> 01:20:21,246
We really shouldn't leave the door open.
Somebody might take something.

1309
01:20:22,184 --> 01:20:23,618
Who'd notice?

1310
01:20:23,752 --> 01:20:25,277
Hello.

1311
01:20:25,421 --> 01:20:27,446
- Wow!

1312
01:20:27,589 --> 01:20:29,182
Hello, everybody.

1313
01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:30,315
Hi.

1314
01:20:30,459 --> 01:20:33,326
I'm Miss Fritzenger.
I live right across the street.

1315
01:20:33,829 --> 01:20:36,161
- We're the Logans. I'm Marcia.
- And Wally.

1316
01:20:36,298 --> 01:20:39,165
- I'm Jan Brady Covington.
- Philip Covington lll.

1317
01:20:40,936 --> 01:20:44,804
We just moved in. That's why things
are a little untidy, Mrs. Fritzenger.

1318
01:20:44,940 --> 01:20:47,739
That's Miss Fritzenger.
And that's by choice,

1319
01:20:47,876 --> 01:20:50,573
since men have only one thing
on their minds.

1320
01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:55,116
Charles and I, Charles is my brother,
we own our own home together.

1321
01:20:55,250 --> 01:20:56,843
Now, whose home is this?

1322
01:20:56,985 --> 01:20:59,113
You and you or... you and you?

1323
01:20:59,688 --> 01:21:01,850
All of us. Isn't it terrific?

1324
01:21:02,658 --> 01:21:04,592
Seems a bit odd to me.

1325
01:21:04,727 --> 01:21:07,355
We have a very respectable
neighborhood here.

1326
01:21:07,963 --> 01:21:10,933
You young people
obviously go on furniture-buying binges.

1327
01:21:11,066 --> 01:21:13,535
That may very well indicate
a life of excesses.

1328
01:21:13,669 --> 01:21:16,229
First it's too much furniture
and then it's too much...

1329
01:21:16,372 --> 01:21:17,737
Hmm...

1330
01:21:17,873 --> 01:21:19,898
I'd rather not say.

1331
01:21:20,275 --> 01:21:21,709
Thank you for the warning.

1332
01:21:21,844 --> 01:21:25,109
I'll leave now. I just wanted to welcome
you all to the neighborhood.

1333
01:21:25,247 --> 01:21:26,510
- Thanks.
- Thank you.

1334
01:21:26,648 --> 01:21:29,379
Oh, if there's anything you want
to know about your neighbors,

1335
01:21:29,518 --> 01:21:32,544
I can tell you,
or if I can't, I can find out.

1336
01:21:32,688 --> 01:21:34,520
- Goodbye.
- Bye.

1337
01:21:35,357 --> 01:21:37,485
As we were saying
before Mrs. Fritzenger...

1338
01:21:37,626 --> 01:21:39,094
Miss Fritzenger!

1339
01:21:39,228 --> 01:21:42,323
Yeah. We have to decide
which furniture to get rid of.

1340
01:21:42,464 --> 01:21:43,932
The modern stuff.

1341
01:21:44,066 --> 01:21:47,161
- I thought you left.
- I took a wrong turn.

1342
01:21:47,302 --> 01:21:51,466
Should have been a right by the ottoman
and a left by the nightstand.

1343
01:21:51,607 --> 01:21:54,076
There's the door.

1344
01:21:54,209 --> 01:21:57,372
It's simple. It's what furniture
fits this particular house.

1345
01:21:57,513 --> 01:22:01,177
I think this house
has an Early American feeling.

1346
01:22:02,484 --> 01:22:04,919
You have to admit,
our things are classic.

1347
01:22:05,988 --> 01:22:08,150
Oh, but so are the Roman ruins,

1348
01:22:08,290 --> 01:22:10,452
but I wouldn't want them
in our living room.

1349
01:22:10,592 --> 01:22:12,890
Oh, yeah, well,
they'd be a lot more comfortable

1350
01:22:13,028 --> 01:22:15,360
than those modern chairs of yours!

1351
01:22:15,497 --> 01:22:17,465
For your information, Jan,
those are coffee tables.

1352
01:22:17,599 --> 01:22:19,624
Coffee tables?

1353
01:22:19,768 --> 01:22:22,635
It's impossible. I warned you.
I warned you. I warned you.

1354
01:22:22,771 --> 01:22:24,239
Thank you, Paul Revere.

1355
01:22:24,373 --> 01:22:28,037
Let's face it, this isn't an argument
about end tables.

1356
01:22:28,177 --> 01:22:30,009
If we can't agree about furniture,

1357
01:22:30,145 --> 01:22:33,809
we'll never be able to agree
about other things. Important things.

1358
01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:35,781
We've agreed on a lot of things.

1359
01:22:35,918 --> 01:22:40,515
It's no use. It'll be like this
about everything. Money, politics,

1360
01:22:40,656 --> 01:22:43,057
who takes out the garbage,
what to watch on television.

1361
01:22:43,192 --> 01:22:45,923
No, that's easy.
We'llspend an enjoyable evening

1362
01:22:46,061 --> 01:22:48,860
watching The Wonderful World
of Geraniums.

1363
01:22:49,731 --> 01:22:53,599
Well, that'll be better than
The Super Bowl! of Mud-Wrestling.

1364
01:22:53,735 --> 01:22:55,760
What's wrong with
The Super Bowl! of Mud-Wrestling?

1365
01:22:55,904 --> 01:22:58,601
Hey, wait a minute, you guys.
Now, come on, please.

1366
01:22:58,740 --> 01:23:01,471
What if there's a fire? He'll run back
to save his beer can collection.

1367
01:23:01,610 --> 01:23:05,012
I would not! I'd run back in
to watch your fish boil.

1368
01:23:09,618 --> 01:23:11,347
- Come on, Jan.
- Wait a minute.

1369
01:23:11,487 --> 01:23:12,921
- Where are we going?
- Home.

1370
01:23:13,055 --> 01:23:14,819
- Home?
- You are home.

1371
01:23:14,957 --> 01:23:16,186
We're all home.

1372
01:23:25,868 --> 01:23:27,063
Wally?

1373
01:23:34,977 --> 01:23:36,138
Wally?

1374
01:23:44,319 --> 01:23:45,616
Wally?

1375
01:23:47,589 --> 01:23:49,114
Wally!

1376
01:23:49,258 --> 01:23:50,987
- What?
- What is that?

1377
01:23:51,126 --> 01:23:52,958
- Milk.
- I don't mean that.

1378
01:23:53,095 --> 01:23:55,587
- I mean that!
- What's the big deal?

1379
01:23:55,731 --> 01:23:57,529
It's two in the morning. Nobody's up.

1380
01:23:57,666 --> 01:24:01,000
- But you're naked.
- I always sleep with my clothes off.

1381
01:24:01,136 --> 01:24:03,161
I know that better than anybody, but...

1382
01:24:03,305 --> 01:24:04,568
So, what's the problem?

1383
01:24:04,706 --> 01:24:07,300
Well, what if Jan wakes up
and comes in here?

1384
01:24:07,442 --> 01:24:10,309
First of all, this is our house
just as much as it is theirs

1385
01:24:10,445 --> 01:24:13,176
and we should be able to walk around
any way we like.

1386
01:24:13,315 --> 01:24:17,980
And secondly, I'm not stopping Jan
from walking around in the nude.

1387
01:24:18,120 --> 01:24:20,214
- Marcia?
- It's Jan!

1388
01:24:20,355 --> 01:24:21,845
It's Jan.

1389
01:24:23,225 --> 01:24:25,922
Don't... you... dare!

1390
01:24:27,296 --> 01:24:30,197
Marcia? What are you doing up?

1391
01:24:30,332 --> 01:24:33,859
- I was just getting a glass of milk.
- At two in the morning?

1392
01:24:34,002 --> 01:24:39,099
I just had this sudden craving for milk,
you know? Just this sudden craving.

1393
01:24:40,576 --> 01:24:42,772
Marcia... you're not...?

1394
01:24:43,712 --> 01:24:47,114
No, of course not.
We just got married, silly.

1395
01:24:47,249 --> 01:24:49,411
- I know, but...
- No, I'm not.

1396
01:24:50,385 --> 01:24:52,410
- Tell her the truth.
- Wally!

1397
01:24:52,554 --> 01:24:54,386
- Wally?
- Yes, that's Wally.

1398
01:24:54,523 --> 01:24:58,016
- But... don't go in there.
- What's going on?

1399
01:24:58,160 --> 01:25:01,755
- Well, he's in the kitchen... naked.
- Why?

1400
01:25:01,897 --> 01:25:04,298
- Well, he always sleeps naked.
- In the kitchen?

1401
01:25:04,433 --> 01:25:06,231
Uh... Well, you see, uh...

1402
01:25:06,368 --> 01:25:09,531
All I wanted was a glass of milk.
I didn't think anybody would be up.

1403
01:25:10,606 --> 01:25:12,404
- Are you shocked?
- No.

1404
01:25:12,541 --> 01:25:13,940
Lots of people drink milk.

1405
01:25:14,943 --> 01:25:19,744
I'm talking about the way he's dressed.
I mean, not dressed... undressed.

1406
01:25:20,882 --> 01:25:23,283
I know what you mean.
A lot of people sleep in the nude.

1407
01:25:23,418 --> 01:25:25,045
Not Philip, of course.

1408
01:25:25,754 --> 01:25:27,722
Would you ladies
stop with the chit-chat?

1409
01:25:27,856 --> 01:25:29,483
This linoleum is getting cold.

1410
01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:31,457
I better make sure Philip is asleep.

1411
01:25:31,593 --> 01:25:33,857
No telling how he'd react
to a thing like this.

1412
01:25:34,930 --> 01:25:37,490
- Philip!
- Jan? Marcia?

1413
01:25:37,633 --> 01:25:39,692
- Hi!
- It's 2:06 in the morning.

1414
01:25:39,835 --> 01:25:44,033
I was just... uh...
getting a glass of milk.

1415
01:25:44,172 --> 01:25:45,901
I was helping her.

1416
01:25:46,041 --> 01:25:49,705
You were helping her
get a glass of milk? What's going on?

1417
01:25:51,113 --> 01:25:54,083
- The truth is...
- The truth is...

1418
01:25:54,216 --> 01:25:55,411
The truth is...

1419
01:25:57,586 --> 01:26:03,252
The truth is I was in the kitchen
getting the milk.

1420
01:26:08,296 --> 01:26:11,857
You came in here to get some milk...
like that?

1421
01:26:12,367 --> 01:26:16,031
This is not mine. I was in the buff.

1422
01:26:17,839 --> 01:26:19,398
I don't know which I'd prefer.

1423
01:26:20,475 --> 01:26:23,137
So, let's suppose
that I would like to wear this...

1424
01:26:23,278 --> 01:26:26,043
This is our house
just the same as it is yours

1425
01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:27,706
and I have every right to wear

1426
01:26:27,849 --> 01:26:31,376
whatever I would like to wear
whenever I would like to wear it.

1427
01:26:31,920 --> 01:26:33,649
Weall have our fantasies.

1428
01:26:34,990 --> 01:26:37,721
- Why don't we all go back to bed?
- Good idea.

1429
01:26:37,859 --> 01:26:40,521
That is not going to solve the problems
of this house.

1430
01:26:40,662 --> 01:26:42,528
We have differing lifestyles.

1431
01:26:42,664 --> 01:26:45,725
You like to play Mozart softly.

1432
01:26:45,867 --> 01:26:49,360
I like to play music with a beat,
nice and loud.

1433
01:26:58,680 --> 01:26:59,841
We're not talking about music.

1434
01:26:59,981 --> 01:27:01,210
It's lifestyles!

1435
01:27:01,349 --> 01:27:03,215
Like your decision to turn this house...

1436
01:27:04,653 --> 01:27:06,587
...into a nudist colony!

1437
01:27:08,724 --> 01:27:13,252
Philip, that is unfair.
We all have a right to feel comfortable.

1438
01:27:13,395 --> 01:27:16,296
But what if seeing Wally in the nude
makes us feel uncomfortable?

1439
01:27:16,431 --> 01:27:21,164
Right. I didn't know we were living with
Play girl's Mr. July.

1440
01:27:21,303 --> 01:27:23,704
I'll get it.

1441
01:27:23,839 --> 01:27:25,102
Don't answer that!

1442
01:27:25,240 --> 01:27:27,538
It's my house. I'll get it if I want to.

1443
01:27:28,310 --> 01:27:30,210
Coming.

1444
01:27:32,514 --> 01:27:33,777
Do come in.

1445
01:27:35,684 --> 01:27:36,981
Miss Fritzenger.

1446
01:27:38,086 --> 01:27:40,953
We were just having a little discussion.
Would you care to join us?

1447
01:27:41,089 --> 01:27:43,615
I heard some very loud music,
and at this hour,

1448
01:27:43,759 --> 01:27:45,227
so I knew that I had to...

1449
01:27:46,161 --> 01:27:47,560
You're wearing an apron.

1450
01:27:47,696 --> 01:27:50,165
Yes, yes. Do you like it?

1451
01:27:50,298 --> 01:27:52,630
Well...yes.

1452
01:27:52,768 --> 01:27:56,329
Thank you. We were discussing
personal freedom.

1453
01:27:57,539 --> 01:28:00,770
Hmm! Oh!

1454
01:28:00,909 --> 01:28:03,708
Oh... oh... oh... oh... oh.

1455
01:28:05,881 --> 01:28:10,284
That takes care of her.
Now... as we were saying...

1456
01:28:12,187 --> 01:28:13,814
Good night, Miss Fritzenger.

1457
01:28:18,193 --> 01:28:20,218
This is not working.
It's just not working.

1458
01:28:20,362 --> 01:28:24,526
- We've got to end this.
- End what? It's not that simple.

1459
01:28:24,666 --> 01:28:28,864
- Marcia and I are sisters.
- We bought this place together.

1460
01:28:29,004 --> 01:28:31,996
We've got to make it work.
Can't we compromise?

1461
01:28:32,140 --> 01:28:34,438
Compromise? What kind of compromise?

1462
01:28:35,310 --> 01:28:37,404
Go naked Monday, Wednesday
and Friday?

1463
01:28:37,546 --> 01:28:41,176
As far as I'm concerned,
I don't really care what you do

1464
01:28:41,316 --> 01:28:42,784
on your side of the house.

1465
01:28:42,918 --> 01:28:47,116
You do what you want over here
and let us do what we want over there.

1466
01:28:47,255 --> 01:28:48,916
You mean some kind of a separation?

1467
01:28:49,057 --> 01:28:51,526
No. I mean a divorce.

1468
01:29:14,916 --> 01:29:17,578
You know, Philip, I was hoping
all this tape would be gone.

1469
01:29:17,719 --> 01:29:19,084
It's so childish!

1470
01:29:19,855 --> 01:29:22,984
It's not childish. It's the reason
why countries have borders.

1471
01:29:23,124 --> 01:29:24,853
It ensures friendly relations.

1472
01:29:25,994 --> 01:29:27,928
Too bad my passport expired.

1473
01:29:29,297 --> 01:29:30,890
Ah, ah, ah, ah...

1474
01:29:35,570 --> 01:29:37,402
What is all this stuff anyway?

1475
01:29:38,306 --> 01:29:41,241
A scientific experiment I'm working on.

1476
01:29:41,376 --> 01:29:43,401
Here? In the living room?

1477
01:29:43,545 --> 01:29:45,172
On our half.

1478
01:29:46,982 --> 01:29:48,575
I smell eggs.

1479
01:29:50,218 --> 01:29:51,811
Rotten eggs.

1480
01:29:51,953 --> 01:29:54,149
What you smell is sulfur.

1481
01:29:56,391 --> 01:29:57,984
- Good morning.
- Good morning.

1482
01:29:58,126 --> 01:29:59,423
Ah, you made eggs!

1483
01:29:59,561 --> 01:30:02,223
No. Philip made sulfur...

1484
01:30:02,831 --> 01:30:04,424
...right here in the living room.

1485
01:30:04,566 --> 01:30:06,694
Well, at least it's on our side.

1486
01:30:07,269 --> 01:30:10,295
I am a scientist. I have to experiment.

1487
01:30:11,673 --> 01:30:14,938
Would you have asked Enrico Fermi
to move his atom bomb?

1488
01:30:15,076 --> 01:30:16,976
Out of the living room? Yes.

1489
01:30:28,290 --> 01:30:30,691
Don't tell me,
Dr. Frankenstein dropped in.

1490
01:30:31,526 --> 01:30:36,589
Oh, oh... What have you made us
for breakfast, Master Phil?

1491
01:30:37,299 --> 01:30:39,495
- Philip.
- Oh, Philip!

1492
01:30:40,602 --> 01:30:43,299
Philip made scrambled sulfur.
Can't you smell it?

1493
01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:45,429
We agreed to split the house in half.

1494
01:30:45,573 --> 01:30:48,634
You better just keep your nose pollution
on your side.

1495
01:30:48,777 --> 01:30:52,236
That's Philip's work. He has the right
to work at home if he wants to.

1496
01:30:52,948 --> 01:30:54,916
I'll get it.

1497
01:30:55,050 --> 01:30:57,712
- Just stay on your side.
- Yes, Master.

1498
01:30:58,420 --> 01:30:59,649
Coming.

1499
01:31:03,858 --> 01:31:06,122
It is Miss Fritzenger and an officer.

1500
01:31:06,261 --> 01:31:07,990
And they're on your side.

1501
01:31:08,697 --> 01:31:10,688
I hardly recognize you
without your apron.

1502
01:31:10,832 --> 01:31:12,027
Thank you.

1503
01:31:12,667 --> 01:31:15,659
Folks, Miss Fritzenger has lodged
another of her complaints.

1504
01:31:15,804 --> 01:31:19,968
Now, at the station, we consider her
to be a very concerned citizen.

1505
01:31:20,108 --> 01:31:21,940
Thank you, Officer Dumont.

1506
01:31:22,944 --> 01:31:27,245
I knew I smelled something.
Look at that! They are making drugs.

1507
01:31:27,382 --> 01:31:29,476
Probably STP.

1508
01:31:30,852 --> 01:31:34,345
And I bet they're selling it
at kindergartens during recess!

1509
01:31:34,489 --> 01:31:39,427
And last night, this one, this one...
was wearing an apron.

1510
01:31:40,628 --> 01:31:43,928
- An apron?
- Book him on a morals charge.

1511
01:31:44,065 --> 01:31:45,157
That's a 613.

1512
01:31:45,300 --> 01:31:48,793
And throw in a 752,
that's a drug bust, for good measure.

1513
01:31:48,937 --> 01:31:50,268
Drug bust.

1514
01:31:50,405 --> 01:31:53,705
Officer Dumont, this is going to
get you a promotion.

1515
01:31:53,842 --> 01:31:55,571
I'm grateful, Miss Fritzenger.

1516
01:31:56,411 --> 01:31:59,381
What is this stuff, anyway?
We'rein a residential zone.

1517
01:31:59,514 --> 01:32:03,075
This stuff, as you called it,
is hydrogen sulfide,

1518
01:32:03,218 --> 01:32:05,516
a common gas
which is sometimes released

1519
01:32:05,653 --> 01:32:08,315
by the oxidation of bituminous carbon.

1520
01:32:08,456 --> 01:32:12,825
Wait a minute.
Do you realize what Philip is doing?

1521
01:32:12,961 --> 01:32:16,192
This experiment might very well
make a better world for us all.

1522
01:32:17,098 --> 01:32:22,366
Miss Fritzenger, anyone who would
complain about Philip Covington llI

1523
01:32:22,504 --> 01:32:26,668
would have probably thrown
Dr. Jonas Salk out on his vaccine.

1524
01:32:29,411 --> 01:32:31,072
Thank you, Wally.

1525
01:32:31,212 --> 01:32:33,408
Don't thank me. Thank you.

1526
01:32:34,449 --> 01:32:36,110
Thank him.

1527
01:32:36,251 --> 01:32:38,583
Thank you, Doctor.
Keep up the good work.

1528
01:32:40,555 --> 01:32:43,217
And Miss Fritzenger,
for your information,

1529
01:32:43,358 --> 01:32:46,851
a752is
"no parking near a fire hydrant".

1530
01:32:51,332 --> 01:32:53,391
Well, they probably do that too!

1531
01:32:54,169 --> 01:32:58,868
Oh, well, do not think
that you can fool Elvira Fritzenger.

1532
01:32:59,007 --> 01:33:01,533
You... You...

1533
01:33:01,676 --> 01:33:04,646
probably were clothed
because you knew I'd be around.

1534
01:33:05,346 --> 01:33:10,409
Miss Fritzenger, this is our home,
and we can dress any way we choose.

1535
01:33:10,552 --> 01:33:12,520
- Any time we choose.
- Right.

1536
01:33:12,654 --> 01:33:14,622
There are standards.

1537
01:33:14,756 --> 01:33:18,021
Exactly. And in this house,
we set the standards.

1538
01:33:18,159 --> 01:33:19,957
Wally can dress any way he likes.

1539
01:33:20,095 --> 01:33:21,995
I can dress any way I like.

1540
01:33:24,065 --> 01:33:26,693
Hmm. Hmm. Oh!

1541
01:33:26,835 --> 01:33:28,269
Well, I never!

1542
01:33:28,403 --> 01:33:30,838
Well, maybe that's your problem,
Miss Fritzenger.

1543
01:33:43,485 --> 01:33:44,714
Attaboy, Philip!

1544
01:33:44,853 --> 01:33:46,321
Hooray, Philip!

1545
01:33:46,454 --> 01:33:49,287
That was so funny!

1546
01:33:49,424 --> 01:33:50,823
So great.

1547
01:33:50,959 --> 01:33:53,087
Do you realize your pants
are still down?

1548
01:33:55,029 --> 01:33:59,091
And do you realize there is still tape
dividing this household?

1549
01:33:59,234 --> 01:34:01,566
Do you realize there doesn't have to be?

1550
01:34:02,070 --> 01:34:03,595
Let's get rid of it.

1551
01:34:03,738 --> 01:34:05,297
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1552
01:34:05,440 --> 01:34:06,703
Good idea!

1553
01:34:09,577 --> 01:34:11,568
- You go that way, I'll go this way.
- OK.